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About the Dead Man and His Funeral
The dead man watches the parade
unfold: faces of former students, still
boyish in his memory, smiles masking
questions of innocence defiled.
A wake is not a place, he muses,
for such considerations, such that
defy propriety suited to the occasion.
More About the Dead Man and His Funeral
He isn’t sure how it began, the day
he fell from grace, dragging them along.
Nothing heralded that it would be
anything but typical–lectures,
papers, preparations and mentor-
ing. Ah! that was it, he gasps, behind
closed doors. A hand upon a thigh
and then the tangle of emotion. ‘Twas
all it took. He bids farewell and plummets
into the flames of hell.
Submitted to Big Tent Poetry: http://bigtentpoetry.org/ The prompt for today was a Wordle, which prompted a poem darker than that which I usually write. Child molestation is a sad reality of life. The form is Dead Man Poetry, the Brain Child of Marvin Bell. I was able to use all the words, for a change.
Submitted as well to One Shot Wednesday: http://onestoppoetry.com/
Jingle
/ March 11, 2011I tried the big tent poetry, here is my entry:
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2011/03/big-tent-poetry-in-55-words.html
Thanks for reading.
PattiKen
/ March 10, 2011“Mentoring”,,, Yes, he got what he deserved, as Kavita suggested. My vindictive side took it a step further, though. I found myself happy that he had the opportunity to see it coming.
Very creative approach, Victoria. The image of the dead man watching his own wake is powerful.
klrs09
/ March 10, 2011Interesting, well crafted — I went back and found all the words from the prompt — how you wove them so skillfully — wonderful.
Kavita
/ March 10, 2011Whooaa! A tight read, Victoria.. I started off feeling sorry for him.. but then eventually I began to ask myself if he really got what he deserved.. (ack… my vindictive side, I guess)… but it’s quite an unimaginable deed.. isn’t it!?!
Really well written, my friend.. very effective!
hpicasso
/ March 9, 2011brutally put, passionately acceptable
Peace, hp
barbara
/ March 9, 2011Yes you tackled a subject that is all too real…and many like to avoid…but truth is truth..powerful word…bkm
lori
/ March 9, 2011Heavy and haunting and nicely done.
dustus
/ March 9, 2011Your clear lines make the poetry even darker and more chilling. To echo what others have said, a tough subject to write about.
wkkortas
/ March 9, 2011I found some of the lining a bit odd, but that’s a very minor complaint. There is a touch of Masters in here (and the more Masters you can work in, the better), and the first piece has a certain winsome puckishness. Very fine writing.
liv2write2day
/ March 9, 2011One of the characteristic’s of Dead Man Poetry (Marvin Bell) is odd, almost disconcerting enjambment, as I understand it. It seems stange to me, too.
kolembo
/ March 9, 2011Oh! Gracious! You wrote this from a prompt/challenge? It’s very good, I found myself pouring over every line, especially the last ones, deciphering discomfort then yes, some form of abuse?
It’s very good.
liv2write2day
/ March 9, 2011Kenny, you might want to check out the prompts at Big Tent Poetry. They are up on Mondays for posting on Friday. Very fun and great poetry.
dasuntoucha
/ March 9, 2011Excellent write.
brian
/ March 9, 2011whoosh that is all it takes…a moment of indiscretion…nicely played…think the rhythm of the first one…
Chris G.
/ March 9, 2011Dark little piece that settles like a weight about your shoulders…as you say, a tough subject certainly – there are few things worse than child molestation. Disgusting creature, this man, yet a tale powerfully written – clever and painfully hard-hitting.
ms pie
/ March 8, 2011ohhh, that was so very very good… was recently introduced to the dead man poet… and you did so well making the wordle second hand to the poem… yeah!!!!
Jamie Dedes
/ March 8, 2011Oh my! That is heavy duty, Victoria, but well done. Sad subject.
Joseph Harker
/ March 7, 2011Heavy stuff… I always enjoy seeing a good Dead Man poem, and combining with the Wordle was a stroke of brilliance. Well done and sinister.
Cathy
/ March 6, 2011Excellent, not an easy subject to write about.
Jingle
/ March 5, 2011smart one..
well done..
visit me for an award, cheers, let me know in case you claim it.
Carl
/ March 5, 2011This is a very powerful use of the words and the form. It is beautifully written.
trisha
/ March 5, 2011brilliantly crafted poem victoria. yes some topics are really too horrible to be discussed still…
Laurie Kolp
/ March 5, 2011I love it! Excellent take on the prompt and truly original. Dead Man Poetry is tough for me, but you make it seem so easy. I’m glad he got what he deserved!
Tilly Bud
/ March 5, 2011This is the best response to the prompt I’ve read so far. A difficult subject handled well. I like the use of the Dead Man form; perfect for this poem.
I never even noticed the Wordle words.
gautami tripathy
/ March 5, 2011Awesome post!
rivulets of space
Due to Census work for the past one month, I have not been able to visit and comment. I will be back with a vengeance after a day or two!
souldipper
/ March 5, 2011You clever woman…what a challenge. Well done. I was just reading about writing from/about the dark side and how it bothers some writers terribly. We were reminded of Stephen King who seems to be a very sweet human being. Consistently and reliably.
It is not easy!
liv2write2day
/ March 6, 2011Everytime I write something dark I wonder where it came from…things I’ve never experienced, at least not in this lifetime. A bit chilling.
Sharp Little Pencil
/ March 5, 2011This could have been a man I once knew. Excellent teacher but his downfall was a fondness for very young students. Excellently done, Victoria. Here’s mine:
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/03/05/parade-of-smiles-big-tent-poetry/
Peace (and safety for our kids), Amy
Tumblewords
/ March 4, 2011Excellent – well defined and powerful piece!
pamela
/ March 4, 2011Victoria, I love how you used this form for the wordle.
Dark agreed, but, vivid with imagery.
Pamela
Mike Patrick
/ March 4, 2011I knew you would not disappoint, Victoria. You marched through a minefield and exited beaming. Wonderful writing.
vivinfrance
/ March 4, 2011As you say, dark. But your poems painted the scenes very vividly. I was there.
Shari Smothers
/ March 4, 2011Interesting poem; well written using the prompt words. I’m especially intrigued by your writing in the defiler’s perspective. I appreciate the eeriness of the piece, visualizing the image of “The dead man watches the parade unfold.”
Notes Along the Path
/ March 4, 2011Wow, tough subject and picture but you rose to the occasion. It does get us thinking, though.