Thunderstorm in Kansas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This week I’m submitting a brief poem to Open Link Night because I just had my eyes dilated and can’t see diddly-squat. I will return to read and comment, most likely in the morning.
Thunderstorm
The jaundiced sky turned dark
then belched
after a flash of heartburn.
I’m also calling on you, my poet friends and support team, for your input on a title for my first volume of poetry. Could you take a moment and complete the following Poll? Your comments are welcome as well. Thank you so much.
By the way, the title choice will drive the poems I choose.
I’m just popping through to see what I might have missed and chuckling again at this one.
diddly-squat – that would be a technical term, eh?
Happy days, Victoria.
Ummmm . . . I can feel that storm ….
Good luck with next book. I voted.
What a neat picture, and I am in AWE of how fantastic your haikus are, Victoria. Yours are some of the best I have ever read.
I voted for Jacaranda Rain – I love the way that sounds and the image it evokes. When will it be coming out and will you also have it on Amazon? I hope so!
It’s still in the submission phase, dragon. But even if I end up self-publishing, it will be on Amazon.
Jacaranda Rain sounds very exotic, I’d certainly get a book with such a name!
nice… I had to laugh… diff, The State of Color
I think my heart stops sometimes when the light cracks. Nice play with words!
I surmise by the poll results that people don’t like “death” in the title. But I find that title (‘The Death of Orange’) more intriguing than the others. I wonder if you’d mind saying what it signifies?
Happy to, Mark It’s a title of a previously posted poem http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/06/03/the-death-of-orange-friday-poetically/ and if/when I use that as a title the poetry will revolve around color and other elements of art…and color woven into the poem. (I’m a color-addict). Thanks for asking. All of the titles are derived from the title of poems with different themes although “The State of Color” would be an alternate to this one.
I loved the first line ~ The jaundiced sky turned dark!
Your poem makes me feel like I am in the belly of a dragon.
I voted Jacaranda Rain, because I lived with purple Novembers in Johannesburg and Pretoria in South Africa for a very long time. I love Jacaranda trees.
Congratulations! I am looking forward to reading your collection!
Nice…and good luck with the title…Keeper of memories is lovely!
Great work with the shorter form.
And Poetry: Electric Bugaloo? Yeah, didn’t think so. Seriously though, I voted and, I guess if push comes to shove, just go with your instincts.
ah, i like it. i like how you have portrayed the stormy sky as being sick. this little haiku reminded me of the works of issa, the personification and the touch of humor. very well written
I voted and your poem made me smile.
A belch, it is.
Thunderstorms here often looks dangerous but only lasts a while.
Voted.
Wonderful and unique description of a thunderstorm. Perfect!
I voted. And I liked your impression of a thunderstorm!
Thanks for going ahead and writing tonight! Kudos! Always love a thunderstorm — we are getting rain here too — nothing like a heartburn to announce itself in surprise echoes!!
Nice capture of the thunderstorm ~ I voted ~
congrats and i’ll bless you luck on that title. Cute, little poem and explanation of a thunderstorm
Do immature storms belch the alphabet, I wonder?
I love the imagery in this.
{ami}
http://sundrysumthins.wordpress.com/
I had my pupils dilated like that a couple of times. It’s very freaky to try to see afterwards, to say the least. Take care.
I voted assuming you picked titles that fit somehow the poems…and now I want to say I love this poem…belched…what a wonderful word for a burst of thunder. So unique and fitting.
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
I laughed, too, honestly, it works so well! I particularly like the switch of time order, that made belch=thunder a theatrical surprise.
Great personification and description of the sky with very few but well chosen words.
ok you got my vote…and you made me laugh with your verse…the personification of the sky—belching…i do like a good storm though…all its power and fury…i was just wondering what it ate in case i needed to offer a breath mint…smiles…
great capture of a thunderstorm…LOVE thunderstorm (when i’m safe inside, tucked under a warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate..smiles..) and hope your eyes are well soon.. thanks also again for the great memorial post at dVerse
I like your courage in writing come what may! And the result is superb. witty. I couldn’t suggest an alternative title without seeing the poems! But I voted anyway.