Summer’s Flame–a Huitain


Photo Credit: blindimage.com

Summer’s sun, inflammatory
passions flare. Searing, scorching rays
spawn such words defamatory.
Tempers simmer, kindle a blaze,
destroy our now and yesterdays.
All through the night a cricket’s call
sparks passion in another way
so that our morning love heals all.

On Thursday, for dVerse Form for All, Gemma Wiseman guest-hosted with Gay Cannon and challenged us to write a huitain, a form comprised of eight lines, eight syllables per line with the rhyme scheme: a,b,a,b,b,c,b,c. I didn’t have time to write something new, so I’m posting a huitain in response to today’s Poetics challenge to write to the theme of SUMMER, offered by Karin Gustafson. I hope you’ll stop by and read some poetry and maybe dip back into the archives to learn about this interesting form.

28 thoughts on “Summer’s Flame–a Huitain

  1. Bodhirose says:

    Yes, the summer’s heat does seem to add to tempers flaring…love how this ended peacefully.

  2. kkkkaty says:

    What you describe so well in this form too often does not lead to forgiveness and violence occurs…I’m glad you ended the poem on a high note…well done!

  3. Lovely poem, great job with that form.

  4. clawfish says:

    you combined form and theme in a wonderful vivid weave

  5. dani says:

    “destroy our nows and yesterdays” ~ a wonderful phrase and so glad the future wasn’t also ruined!

    great use of the form {are there ANY forms you can’t do?} and the summer prompt.

    LOVE this, Victoria!

  6. Is that why so many babies are born in the spring months? ;)

  7. zongrik says:

    morning love with crickets singing in the background…sounds very romantic

    street rubbish

  8. Passions do flare in the heat of summer and often those passions are lack patience and understanding! The cooler morning hours are a good time to remember love! Beautiful!

  9. ds says:

    Ah, the lure of the cricket’s call…glad all was well in the end ; ) This is a lovely huitain–kudos–you have captured so much in these few lines, it doesn’t feel restrictive in the least. Thank you.

  10. hedgewitch says:

    You touch on some of the aspects of summer that aren’t normally poeticized–and resolve them nicely. I love this form–it seems really constricting till you start to work with it, but actually is quite liberating and versatile, I think.

  11. suej says:

    Hmm, I liked the truth in
    “Tempers simmer, kindle a blaze,
    destroy our now and yesterdays.”
    At least it’s resolved in the last line here!

  12. kaykuala says:

    Yes, heated arguments can start from heat from the outside. It just needs something to trigger things off.. But you crafted it very well by bending it towards loving care that helps it through the night! Nice write Victoria!

    Hank

  13. Nice to see theme and form combined. It also reminds that form poems take time.

  14. David King says:

    A perfect use of the form and a moving comment on a common experience.

  15. hobgoblin2011 says:

    Victoria, this was very good. Love how you combined the two prompts this week, I’ve thought about doing this before, but always thought it would be difficult to do, you made it look easy. Great job. Thanks

  16. Claudia says:

    you realize it when in the car that intense heat makes people lose their temper much more quickly.. good that there is a happy end in your story and the emotions and heat were flowing in the right direction…you balanced that quite well…great job also on the form

  17. ManicDdaily says:

    HI Victoria – the form is hardly noticeable, you weave it so gracefully–a lovely poem. I was a bit disturbed by the picture, which although it captures the heat part really well, seems a bit too strong for the resolution at the end of the poem! (Since violence seems hard to resolve so quickly.) But if I read the poem just on its own it really worked wonderfully. k.

  18. Susan says:

    “Tempers simmer, kindle a blaze,
    destroy our now and yesterdays.
    All through the night a cricket’s call
    sparks passion in another way”

    This form hardly seemed long enough to change mood within–but you have done that brilliantly and convincingly! Day to Night changes make loving mornings possible, bravo!
    Although, in the case of abuse, it’s important to break the cycle–Thank God that at least here in the USA Summer ends.

  19. “destroy our now and yesterdays” … What a great line.

  20. Victoria–this is perfect–and great way to do two things at once, beautifully.

  21. Poet Laundry says:

    I’m going to say that this is a perfect little poem. An excellent use of the form to present a nugget of real life stuff–quite tight!

  22. brian miller says:

    ha its easy to let the heat get to you and the emotions to flare it up too in those situ….thinking back to the power outage for me…had to be very conscious of that….glad that it gave way to passion though…and love an def heal all…i like the form too…flows well…

  23. Laurie Kolp says:

    This is wonderful, Victoria… I especially like the ending.

  24. Intense heat for too many days can and doe cause tempers to flare, doesn’t it. Really enjoyed this but the last three lines are wonderful.
    RYN: Thank you.

  25. Nice to combine two prompts and summer does inflame so many desires and tempers. You captured the essence well!

  26. Mary says:

    You have said so much in this well-composed Huitan, Victoria…indeed sometimes the heat does make tempers and passion of anger flare. So much is said perhaps that should not be said; but hopefully things cool down to allow that much gentler passion of love in a summer morn.

  27. Bristo Jiu says:

    very interesting poetry form and theme.
    :)

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