One Shot Wednesday–“Flight off of Half Dome”


Half Dome

Image via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flight Off of Half Dome
An etheree

Walk
alone
in autumn
below the blue
canopy of sky.
Leaves crunch beneath your feet.
Where do crickets go on cold
fall days wrapped up in brilliant hues?
Why do the horses romp in sunlit
fields of green with wind whipping through their manes?

Where do crickets go on chilled winter days?
Yosemite-place of the gaping
mouth-belonged to the Miwok
until the white man came.
Manifest Destiny
they called it—God’s will.
The valley was
theirs to romp
in sun-
light.

Mi-
wok fled
in autumn
under the black
night sky in silent
flight off Half-Dome or through
wet leaves that could not crunch. Their
tears fell into the dark chasm
drowning the crickets who hid beneath
scarlet shrouds of all that came before death.

36 thoughts on “One Shot Wednesday–“Flight off of Half Dome”

  1. kaykuala says:

    Fantastic, Victoria! A little twist and 3 at one go. Inverted or otherwise they work beautifully. Thanks for sharing Ma’am!

    Hank

    Like

  2. […] In case you’re here for the etheree prompt, it’s an old link: https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/one-shot-wednesday-flight-off-of-half-dome/   […]

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  3. Marian says:

    wow! wow. very well done!

    Like

  4. Akila says:

    Beautifully crafted. Not easy to work on forms connected as paras. Stunning!

    Like

  5. Creative in presentation and verse..there is so much to take in and contemplate….so beautiful

    Like

  6. hedgewitch says:

    You’ve done amazing things with this form, Victoria–I’m so glad you decided to share it with us. It really gets harder, not easier, to lengthen it out, (at least for me) and yours is flawless, with a very effective build of tension all the way through to the lyric, sad, and stunning final lines.

    Like

  7. Beautifully written Victoria ~ The form, weaving up and down, tells a poignant story ~ How we must respect everyone who comes before us ~

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  8. othermary says:

    You have used the form deftly to tell this sad history. Kudos.

    Like

  9. Dianne says:

    terrific poem, I didn’t know about this form. I love your historical perspective of half dome, john muir would be proud. Is wordpress easier to use? i wish I had spell check on blogspot. thanks for visiting my 160,
    Dianne

    Like

    • Thanks so much, Dianne. I maintained two identical blogs, wordpress and blogspot, until last week. Now that I’m blogging more I just didn’t have time to keep them both active. Both have pros and cons. I found wordpress gets more traffic from the writing community and is a bit more user-friendly. Also their stats are more reliable because they don’t count your own visits like blogspot does. Blogspot has its advantages, though. I think they’re both good.

      Like

  10. 2zpoint says:

    Interesting after reading what this is!…its kind of like a puzzle with a collective subconscious thought. intricately amazing!

    Like

  11. Shashi says:

    Beautifully designed verse and I liked it…visually as well as emotionally gratifying.

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

    Like

  12. Claudia says:

    i love the shape of the poem – it underlines the words perfectly

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  13. River says:

    Awesome poem. The shape/style is cool.

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  14. trisha says:

    awesome poem liv. its extremely beautiful and the hourglass was perfectly created out of words.

    visiting you from JIngle’s TRP – thursday rally for poets.

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  15. Nick Rolynd says:

    I have to say, the shapes you make with this poem just amplify it tenfold. =)

    Like

  16. PattiKen says:

    i loved this. And i learned something. I’d never heard of an “etheree” befoe, so I looked it up. Wow, what a challenge, and you did a great job with it.

    Like

  17. vivinfrance says:

    A super triple etheree. I loved it. Yosemite is a fabulous name for a fabulous place – which I only know at second hand, through my climber daughter’s slides and photographs, but would love to see in rock and tree.

    Like

    • Thank you, Viv. I hope you have a chance to visit Yosemite and if you do, I’m only a couple of hours away! In the meantime, enjoy your more immediate travels. I expect you’ll have some wonderful poetic memories to share when you return.

      Like

  18. I am speechless.. Loved your take..

    –Someone Is Special–

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  19. Jamie Dedes says:

    Oh my! Both visually and emotionally compelling. So so sad … and you chose a fine illustration.

    Thank you for this. Must come read again.

    Good One Shot …

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  20. alex says:

    great oneshot
    and loved the way you shapped it
    ):)(:(

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    • The shape of the poem happens when you follow the etheree form. First line 1 syllable, 2nd, 2 etc. up to 10, then reverse and repeat as many times as you want. I find it a fun form to work with.

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  21. brian says:

    wow. that last verse about did me in…marvelous imagery…the drowning crickets and the shroud…tight one shot!

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  22. dustus says:

    Beautiful poem both through the lines and visual components. cheers

    Like

  23. HisFireFly says:

    Breathtaking and you leave me speechless.

    Like

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