Thursday Poets’ Rally–“Wounds”


A birch—
smooth bark dotted
with eyes—
omniscient voyeur
spying on passersby.
Down its trunk
a scar splays open.
Wide, like a wound
I used to pack with sterile gauze
and normal saline.

(My patient’s name
was Forrest.)

In the gutter, red blossoms
from a nearby
Indian Paint Brush
pile in heaps
like clotted blood.

Forrest’s gash—
the result of a barroom brawl—
or so he’d told me—
never healed.
He didn’t bleed to death.
Just died by the inch,
lost the will to fight
when the woman went off
with his opponent.

The tree has been like this
for years.
Over time some miscreant
continues to inflict like damages
on other branches.

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63 thoughts on “Thursday Poets’ Rally–“Wounds”

  1. julielaing says:

    This piece has such great visuals. I’m partial to the paintbrush bit, which I track all summer as wander in the Montana mountains. You’re description is apt!

    My first attempt to build on a piece of the “Shoes” poem is up: http://thejuliebook.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/fairytale-work-in-progress/. I’m wondering if it’s a mere exercise at this point, since I’m not sure I’ve achieved anything with it that I didn’t express in the original piece. What do you think?

    Like

  2. A.B. Thomas says:

    Frightening powerful – thanks for the great read!

    Like

  3. Kiera says:

    “Omniscient voyeur”– wow, great poem!

    🙂

    Like

  4. Olivia says:

    Loads of Love My Dear Friend
    An Award for you..
    http://oliviasbiopiclog.wordpress.com/2010/10/09/love-you-loads/

    Lovies xox

    Like

  5. Jamie Dedes says:

    A must engaging poem with several layers. The shift from patient to tree gives it depth. Thank you!

    Happy Rally and good weekend, Victoria.

    Like

  6. dasuntoucha says:

    Vivid and entrancing.

    Like

  7. Alethea says:

    that was really powerful!! sad but very beautifully written and the picture goes with your words…very nice!
    Happy Rallying 🙂

    Like

  8. vivinfrance says:

    Emotive, sad, but very well written.

    Like

  9. Artswebshow says:

    This is a very impressive rally entry.
    Awesome poem

    Like

  10. A wonderful creative life you live, Ji.
    Your boys, no doubt, are the pinnacle of your creativity.
    Blessings to you and happy weekend.
    BTW–do you remember who runs the Room for Romance (or something like that) on Saturday. I thought I had linked it but can’t find it.

    Like

  11. Jingle says:

    Jingle at wordpress is my main blog,

    promising poets’ parking lot is for Thursday Poets Rally only, pure public poetry blog, not used often…as you know, I run poets Rally only twice a month….

    Jingle at blogger is an alternate, I post some of my work there, it is easy if I have two posts at the same day….

    Jingle poetry is shared with 15 poets, I don’t formally post, as you know, only once a week, I attend the poetry potluck….

    as for my newest blog at the 3rd host, it is a safe place, i don’t post at all unless it is necessary….I will simply use it as a storage of selected poetry of myself…not expect to become popular or used often….

    I do sleep, I am off line from 11pm to 7am for sure…
    Thanks for the curious mind and wonder of my activities…

    beautiful contribution….

    I have two boys,. one is 17 and went to college, another is 12 and very independent, thus I have a lot of time to write and engage in activities…

    Happy Friday!
    Smiles!

    Like

  12. Powerful poem brilliantly said.. Wounds..

    Fragrance of Friendship

    Happy Rally

    –Someone Is Special–

    Like

  13. Eric says:

    Run, Forrest! Run! (LOL!)

    Nice piece… I like the duality.

    Like

  14. Such a brilliant treat!
    Or should I say,tree:-)
    THIS is my newest favorite my friend.
    Thank-you for your kind comments on mine!

    Like

  15. PinkLady says:

    what a lovely metaphor… and i feel for forrest. it is so sad how some wounds never heal in time. forrest’s loss spelled the end of his will to live… death eventually. such is life!

    Like

  16. mangoesntangoes says:

    Great imagery and anthropomorphism.

    Like

  17. Olivia says:

    What a sharp cutting one- this is as close as it could get. The image is as much complimenting. I loved it’s freshness- it has the ability to speak 1000 words should someone be wanting to read it up close.. Lovies Victoria- xoxox

    Like

  18. buttercup600 says:

    So very warm and vivid imagery…loved it my friend xx

    Like

  19. 2zpoint says:

    No wound is so deep as one caused by love. Excellent story…I can relate and I enjoyed it too! Just …better him than me this time!

    Like

  20. outstanding! and the image was so well chosen!

    Like

  21. Dakshima says:

    loved it…
    thanx for visiting me.. 😀
    cheers

    Like

  22. Nevermoraven says:

    This is a very deep and sad poem…but I love the vivid images you conjured up. Thanks for sharing~

    Like

  23. Lyn says:

    Omnicient voyeur..what a powerful phrase..some trees, like people, are natural victims, and yet they stand..you go deep with this!

    Like

  24. pollutedpoet says:

    That was great personification.

    You both personified the tree and “treeified” the person!

    Love it!

    Like

  25. I love birch trees and often draw them…This poem is so rich and full! I am happy I came across it today!

    http://itslovelyannie.com/2010/10/06/different-rally-week-30/

    Like

  26. notjeffery says:

    Awesome read.
    I’m teaching biodiversity at the moment, with your permission I’d like to share this with my kids. We’re looking at trees and deforestation.

    This is a topic close to my heart!
    Peace,

    http://notjeffery1.worpress.com/2010/10/06/dying-inside/
    http://notjeffery1.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/forsooth/
    (my entries)

    Like

  27. Carolyn says:

    Like trees we can live a long time with our wounds and scars but you remind us – not always. Vivid and powerful. Thanks !

    Like

  28. Loved this poem. There is so much to sink your teeth into vis a vis the thematic development of the treating the patient AND using the tree branches as symbolic of the damage done as the years go by. Enjoyable read and extremely emotionally powerful poem. Thanks for posting!

    crb.

    Like

  29. the image is sad, yet your wordplay cutting, in a good way..
    happy Rally! 🙂

    My Rally Entry is Here!
    http://leonnyes.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/night-nuances/

    Like

  30. Jingle says:

    thanks for the sweet participation..
    your have lovely nature and creative poetry talent,

    Like

  31. Jingle says:

    sad for the tree…
    how sharp you are to write abut it…
    so beautiful spirits in doing so.

    Like

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