A birch—
smooth bark dotted
with eyes—
omniscient voyeur
spying on passersby.
Down its trunk
a scar splays open.
Wide, like a wound
I used to pack with sterile gauze
and normal saline.
(My patient’s name
was Forrest.)
In the gutter, red blossoms
from a nearby
Indian Paint Brush
pile in heaps
like clotted blood.
Forrest’s gash—
the result of a barroom brawl—
or so he’d told me—
never healed.
He didn’t bleed to death.
Just died by the inch,
lost the will to fight
when the woman went off
with his opponent.
The tree has been like this
for years.
Over time some miscreant
continues to inflict like damages
on other branches.
[…] Victoria:https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/thursday-poets-rally-wounds/ […]
LikeLike
This piece has such great visuals. I’m partial to the paintbrush bit, which I track all summer as wander in the Montana mountains. You’re description is apt!
My first attempt to build on a piece of the “Shoes” poem is up: http://thejuliebook.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/fairytale-work-in-progress/. I’m wondering if it’s a mere exercise at this point, since I’m not sure I’ve achieved anything with it that I didn’t express in the original piece. What do you think?
LikeLike
Thanks Julie. I love Montana…my father-in-law lived in Billings. A beautiful state.
LikeLike
Frightening powerful – thanks for the great read!
LikeLike
Thanks, A.B.
LikeLike
“Omniscient voyeur”– wow, great poem!
🙂
LikeLike
I appreciate your comments, Kiera
LikeLike
Loads of Love My Dear Friend
An Award for you..
Lovies xox
LikeLike
A must engaging poem with several layers. The shift from patient to tree gives it depth. Thank you!
Happy Rally and good weekend, Victoria.
LikeLike
Thanks for your comments, Jamie and you have a beautiful, creative weekend, too. Bisous.
LikeLike
Vivid and entrancing.
LikeLike
that was really powerful!! sad but very beautifully written and the picture goes with your words…very nice!
Happy Rallying 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Alethea.
LikeLike
Emotive, sad, but very well written.
LikeLike
Merci bien, Vivienne
LikeLike
This is a very impressive rally entry.
Awesome poem
LikeLike
Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
A wonderful creative life you live, Ji.
Your boys, no doubt, are the pinnacle of your creativity.
Blessings to you and happy weekend.
BTW–do you remember who runs the Room for Romance (or something like that) on Saturday. I thought I had linked it but can’t find it.
LikeLike
http://roomforromance.blogspot.com/
here is the link, it is hosted by someone is special…
read the details below to link in, comment to ask for help if needed,
have fun!
LikeLike
You’re right…thanks.
LikeLike
Jingle at wordpress is my main blog,
promising poets’ parking lot is for Thursday Poets Rally only, pure public poetry blog, not used often…as you know, I run poets Rally only twice a month….
Jingle at blogger is an alternate, I post some of my work there, it is easy if I have two posts at the same day….
Jingle poetry is shared with 15 poets, I don’t formally post, as you know, only once a week, I attend the poetry potluck….
as for my newest blog at the 3rd host, it is a safe place, i don’t post at all unless it is necessary….I will simply use it as a storage of selected poetry of myself…not expect to become popular or used often….
I do sleep, I am off line from 11pm to 7am for sure…
Thanks for the curious mind and wonder of my activities…
beautiful contribution….
I have two boys,. one is 17 and went to college, another is 12 and very independent, thus I have a lot of time to write and engage in activities…
Happy Friday!
Smiles!
LikeLike
Powerful poem brilliantly said.. Wounds..
Fragrance of Friendship
Happy Rally
–Someone Is Special–
LikeLike
Run, Forrest! Run! (LOL!)
Nice piece… I like the duality.
LikeLike
Good one, Eric!
LikeLike
Such a brilliant treat!
Or should I say,tree:-)
THIS is my newest favorite my friend.
Thank-you for your kind comments on mine!
LikeLike
Oh you people in a different time zone are on it!
LikeLike
what a lovely metaphor… and i feel for forrest. it is so sad how some wounds never heal in time. forrest’s loss spelled the end of his will to live… death eventually. such is life!
LikeLike
Both “metaphors” are true stories.
LikeLike
Great imagery and anthropomorphism.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, mangoes
LikeLike
What a sharp cutting one- this is as close as it could get. The image is as much complimenting. I loved it’s freshness- it has the ability to speak 1000 words should someone be wanting to read it up close.. Lovies Victoria- xoxox
LikeLike
Thanks, Olivia. Both stories really happened.
LikeLike
I am floored.. Really now- Thanks for telling me that.. Till end I had been fretting which way to read for each one of those spoke its story.. Neat and so clever..
Wonderful!! I am amazed.. xoxox
LikeLike
Oh, I don’t want you fretting, Olivia. :0)
LikeLike
So very warm and vivid imagery…loved it my friend xx
LikeLike
I’m glad you stopped by, Amanda. Have a happy Friday.
LikeLike
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/10/poetry-is-passion.html
u may try this one,
thanks for the lovely contribution!
LikeLike
No wound is so deep as one caused by love. Excellent story…I can relate and I enjoyed it too! Just …better him than me this time!
LikeLike
Sounds like you’ve been there! Hopefully no knife wound, though. :0)
LikeLike
outstanding! and the image was so well chosen!
LikeLike
Thanks, Liliana
LikeLike
loved it…
thanx for visiting me.. 😀
cheers
LikeLike
Glad to exchange visits.
LikeLike
This is a very deep and sad poem…but I love the vivid images you conjured up. Thanks for sharing~
LikeLike
Thank you for visiting me.
LikeLike
Omnicient voyeur..what a powerful phrase..some trees, like people, are natural victims, and yet they stand..you go deep with this!
LikeLike
Thanks for your comments, Lyn
LikeLike
That was great personification.
You both personified the tree and “treeified” the person!
Love it!
LikeLike
Ha! I hadn’t thought of the treeification! Thanks for the visit.
LikeLike
I love birch trees and often draw them…This poem is so rich and full! I am happy I came across it today!
http://itslovelyannie.com/2010/10/06/different-rally-week-30/
LikeLike
I’ve done some birches using watercolors. They are fun to paint/draw.
LikeLike
Awesome read.
I’m teaching biodiversity at the moment, with your permission I’d like to share this with my kids. We’re looking at trees and deforestation.
This is a topic close to my heart!
Peace,
http://notjeffery1.worpress.com/2010/10/06/dying-inside/
(my entries)
LikeLike
I would love for you to share it with them. Go ahead and copy if you like. How old are they?
LikeLike
Thank you!
They’re 12 but they’ll enjoy it anyhow!
LikeLike
Like trees we can live a long time with our wounds and scars but you remind us – not always. Vivid and powerful. Thanks !
LikeLike
Loved this poem. There is so much to sink your teeth into vis a vis the thematic development of the treating the patient AND using the tree branches as symbolic of the damage done as the years go by. Enjoyable read and extremely emotionally powerful poem. Thanks for posting!
crb.
LikeLike
Thanks for your comments, c-fool. :0)
LikeLike
the image is sad, yet your wordplay cutting, in a good way..
happy Rally! 🙂
My Rally Entry is Here!
http://leonnyes.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/night-nuances/
LikeLike
Thanks, Leo. It is sad.
LikeLike
thanks for the sweet participation..
your have lovely nature and creative poetry talent,
LikeLike
sad for the tree…
how sharp you are to write abut it…
so beautiful spirits in doing so.
LikeLike
[…] Victoria:https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/thursday-poets-rally-wounds/ […]
LikeLike
[…] Victoria:https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/thursday-poets-rally-wounds/ […]
LikeLike