Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–“Drowning”


Submitted to Jingle’s Poetry Potluck: http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/ I want to thank Amanda and Kavita for inviting me to be this week’s guest poet. I submitted “Gone with a Sigh.”  Here’s another one.

 Theme: Emotions, Feelings, Moods

Drowning

In my dream
swollen waves
surge upon the sand,
mount craggy cliffs,
swamp the earth.

Today I look
upon a mirror of
still water.
Beneath the surface
roil sleeping monsters.

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30 thoughts on “Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–“Drowning”

  1. I couldn’t remember which one this was (your post on blog health), so I had to check. Remember now, and it reads as well the second time around. And, yes, still eerie.

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  2. […] The busiest day of the year was November 15th with 182 views. The most popular post that day was Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–”Drowning”. […]

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  3. Well done on JP. Enjoyed Gone with a Sigh. Good stuff here too. Sense of malevolence, but that’s how dreams are sometimes.

    Happy Potluck, Victoria!

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  4. Shawn Bird says:

    I enjoyed Gone with a Sigh. Thanks for sharing! This is poignant as well. Have you ever drowned? One does sense monsters waiting even when the water is calm forever after…
    My potluck contribution:
    http://shawnbird.com/2010/11/16/what-does-love-sound-like/

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  5. hedgewitch says:

    You make the reader instantly identify here with your very first phrase. Sleeping monsters, indeed, and all the more frightening for not being visible.

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  6. 700miles says:

    i enjoyed the contrast in this poem. i just wrote about the water too…. is it the season where we all wish to be nearer to the water? 🙂 take care. -700

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  7. Shashi says:

    Perfect. I liked the way you brought out the hidden powerful emotions under the calmness of the surface… thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  8. More often than not, it is the current underneath the calm waters that is very dangerous. I love how this poem speaks so strongly in a very quiet way. I love the water, and your words make me want to go to a beach now, look at the sea, and meditate.

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  9. Talon says:

    The correlation between the dream state and the awake one is just handled brilliantly.

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  10. lynnaima says:

    interesting piece!!! 🙂

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  11. Lyn says:

    So visual..don’t want to go into the water…brrr….Excellent!!

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  12. The picture and the words are a powerful combination!Feels like I’m actually being pulled beneath it!

    Fantastic work.Precise and powerful!

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  13. I had a feeling of visiting Scotland’s loch ness lake…never sure when the monster might emerge!

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  14. Eric says:

    I can feel them there, just waiting to drag me down. Nice piece!

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  15. david waters says:

    wonderful write….much said with few words.

    cheers

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  16. loved this poem. short and to the point and creates a definite image in my mind. great job!

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  17. Reflections says:

    The sleepiness of emotions, gently beating like the waves of time, ever to wash away the memories felt.

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  18. Jingle says:

    authentic piece.
    I can relate…

    Thanks for the support to potluck poetry.
    Happy Reading.

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  19. Harshika says:

    nice 🙂

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  20. ladynimue says:

    the second verse says it all 🙂 Perfect !

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  21. PinkLady says:

    only you know what lies within… as they say, beware of still waters. this is a thought-provoking, piece, victoria. deep and lovely indeed!

    Bye For Now

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  22. joan says:

    When I was reading this lovely poem of yours the quote “Still waters run deep”, came to mind and I couldn’t help but think about how your poem fitted metaphorically, but also how it could be connected in a more physical way.

    very nice write,

    cheers,
    joanny

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  23. Deborah says:

    So well written …
    still water.
    Beneath the surface
    roil sleeping monsters
    captured perfectly!

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  24. fiveloaf says:

    now this is contagious, zen like and a very interesting attempt from you! enjoyed it alot liv!

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  25. A.B. Thomas says:

    Well brought and delivered!

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  26. ljm (Amias) says:

    I am a word freak, and had to quickly go to the dictionary to see what “roil” meant … nice use of the word.

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  27. signed .............bkm says:

    Nice write on those sleeping emotions and monsters….we must be our own superhero when those dreams and feelings come…the image is perfect for the piece…bkm

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  28. Simple use of words yet bringing out what seemed to be most hard to write about.. 🙂
    Anyway, I found you from Monday Potluck and here are my entires – different feelings for both..
    http://www.intinglligent.com/2010/11/electrify.html
    http://www.intinglligent.com/2010/09/just-tree.html
    See you around..
    S.Pike

    Like

  29. Bodhirose says:

    This has a very sinister feel to it–very well done. You captured such a strong feeling with carefully selected wording.

    Like

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