Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–“Drowning”

Submitted to Jingle’s Poetry Potluck: http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/ I want to thank Amanda and Kavita for inviting me to be this week’s guest poet. I submitted “Gone with a Sigh.”  Here’s another one.

 Theme: Emotions, Feelings, Moods


In my dream
swollen waves
surge upon the sand,
mount craggy cliffs,
swamp the earth.

Today I look
upon a mirror of
still water.
Beneath the surface
roil sleeping monsters.


30 thoughts on “Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–“Drowning”

  1. I couldn’t remember which one this was (your post on blog health), so I had to check. Remember now, and it reads as well the second time around. And, yes, still eerie.


  2. […] The busiest day of the year was November 15th with 182 views. The most popular post that day was Jingle’s Poetry Potluck–”Drowning”. […]


  3. Well done on JP. Enjoyed Gone with a Sigh. Good stuff here too. Sense of malevolence, but that’s how dreams are sometimes.

    Happy Potluck, Victoria!


  4. Shawn Bird says:

    I enjoyed Gone with a Sigh. Thanks for sharing! This is poignant as well. Have you ever drowned? One does sense monsters waiting even when the water is calm forever after…
    My potluck contribution:


  5. hedgewitch says:

    You make the reader instantly identify here with your very first phrase. Sleeping monsters, indeed, and all the more frightening for not being visible.


  6. 700miles says:

    i enjoyed the contrast in this poem. i just wrote about the water too…. is it the season where we all wish to be nearer to the water? 🙂 take care. -700


  7. Shashi says:

    Perfect. I liked the way you brought out the hidden powerful emotions under the calmness of the surface… thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com


  8. More often than not, it is the current underneath the calm waters that is very dangerous. I love how this poem speaks so strongly in a very quiet way. I love the water, and your words make me want to go to a beach now, look at the sea, and meditate.


  9. Talon says:

    The correlation between the dream state and the awake one is just handled brilliantly.


  10. lynnaima says:

    interesting piece!!! 🙂


  11. Lyn says:

    So visual..don’t want to go into the water…brrr….Excellent!!


  12. The picture and the words are a powerful combination!Feels like I’m actually being pulled beneath it!

    Fantastic work.Precise and powerful!


  13. I had a feeling of visiting Scotland’s loch ness lake…never sure when the monster might emerge!


  14. Eric says:

    I can feel them there, just waiting to drag me down. Nice piece!


  15. david waters says:

    wonderful write….much said with few words.



  16. loved this poem. short and to the point and creates a definite image in my mind. great job!


  17. Reflections says:

    The sleepiness of emotions, gently beating like the waves of time, ever to wash away the memories felt.


  18. Jingle says:

    authentic piece.
    I can relate…

    Thanks for the support to potluck poetry.
    Happy Reading.


  19. Harshika says:

    nice 🙂


  20. ladynimue says:

    the second verse says it all 🙂 Perfect !


  21. PinkLady says:

    only you know what lies within… as they say, beware of still waters. this is a thought-provoking, piece, victoria. deep and lovely indeed!

    Bye For Now


  22. joan says:

    When I was reading this lovely poem of yours the quote “Still waters run deep”, came to mind and I couldn’t help but think about how your poem fitted metaphorically, but also how it could be connected in a more physical way.

    very nice write,



  23. Deborah says:

    So well written …
    still water.
    Beneath the surface
    roil sleeping monsters
    captured perfectly!


  24. fiveloaf says:

    now this is contagious, zen like and a very interesting attempt from you! enjoyed it alot liv!


  25. A.B. Thomas says:

    Well brought and delivered!


  26. ljm (Amias) says:

    I am a word freak, and had to quickly go to the dictionary to see what “roil” meant … nice use of the word.


  27. signed .............bkm says:

    Nice write on those sleeping emotions and monsters….we must be our own superhero when those dreams and feelings come…the image is perfect for the piece…bkm


  28. Simple use of words yet bringing out what seemed to be most hard to write about.. 🙂
    Anyway, I found you from Monday Potluck and here are my entires – different feelings for both..
    See you around..


  29. Bodhirose says:

    This has a very sinister feel to it–very well done. You captured such a strong feeling with carefully selected wording.


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