Textures–Response to Monday Morning Writing Prompt


Candy Carousel Horse

Image by nhanusek via Flickr

Textures

About five-thirty
the morning of Friday before
day-light-saving-time,
light spills through blinds,
pools into discrete
silver puddles
at the foot of my bed.

Through the half-moon window
near the ceiling,
swatches of gray satin
unfurl across the sky.
Tears in the fabric
allow slices of blue to
peek through,
toss hope in my face.

In that shadowy space between
asleep and awake
ideas pelt my brain
so I can’t escape back into
my dream about the circus
where I rode barefoot,
standing on the rough coat
of a white mare.
I slip into awareness.

Cold smooth wood
greets my feet as I stand
and yawn.
My dog
shakes her silky fur, glares at
me for interrupting her dreams.

We stretch, enter the day,
touch life.

This is my response to the writing prompt I posted on Monday at: https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/monday-morning-writing-prompt-daylight-savings-time/

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29 thoughts on “Textures–Response to Monday Morning Writing Prompt

  1. Oh wow…must say I’d love to go back into that dream standing on a white mare riding barefoot… such freedom and what a beautiful waking poem. So much to like!

    Like

  2. Kathy says:

    I love the gray satin sky, the image of the circus..truly a good example for us to follow in this prompt. Sweet.

    Like

  3. Jamie Dedes says:

    Vividly shared experience full of sensation and color. Nicely done, Victoria.

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  4. This is beautiful…so many favorite parts I can’t choose one and I love the dream you try to remember in this!

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  5. trisha says:

    fantastic poem victoria, very beautiful and dreamy.

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  6. That’s a good way to wake up.

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  7. dani says:

    this is stunning! so many wonderful turns of phrase and such vivid imagery. the flow is beautiful, too. my favorite lines are:

    “swatches of gray satin
    unfurl across the sky.
    Tears in the fabric
    allow slices of blue to
    peek through,”

    Like

  8. Cathy says:

    Great imagery. Especially this one,

    allow slices of blue to
    peek through,
    toss hope in my face.

    Like

  9. thingy says:

    This is so beautiful.

    Like

  10. nan says:

    The ending is great. I also really liked the imagery here:
    in that shadowy space between
    asleep and awake
    ideas pelt my brain
    so I can’t escape back into
    my dream

    Like

  11. Judy Roney says:

    What a marvelous awakening to the new day. You sure are surrounded by beauty “light spills through blinds,
    pools into discrete
    silver puddles”
    and love, “My dog
    shakes her silky fur..we stretch together”. Beautiful.

    Like

  12. honeyhaiku says:

    What a lovely beginning to the day! Excellent take and I love your renderings of the color grey!

    Like

  13. Laurie Kolp says:

    Vivid and beautiful imagery with a dream-like quality!

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  14. Oh, I know that shadowy space. Ethereal, mystical and caught in an evocative way here. Thank you!

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  15. Kim Nelson says:

    Wow! you packed a lot of information into this poem. Very sensory!

    Like

  16. vivinfrance says:

    I’m glad you posted this: it is truly beautiful, and the images are still flickering in my head. Thank you.

    Like

  17. You’ve created such a tiny delicate world with your pen here..The last two lines have such warmness to them. Thank you again. (that’s Yelena, just from my another blog))

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  18. Tumblewords says:

    I like this, a lot! It sounds wonderfully like that dreamlike state before full waking.

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  19. pamela says:

    What a lovely way to start the day, Victoria.
    Lovely poem.

    Like

  20. versebender says:

    Nice take on the dawning of consciousness. Excellent word choices. I especially liked “I slip into awareness.” Nice reversal …I usually see slipping out awareness (consciousness). Funny how small phrases can grab your attention…this one got mine. Vb

    Like

  21. Mike Patrick says:

    Envy is supposed to be one of the seven deadly sins, yet here I am envying your simple greeting of the day. Lovely.

    Like

  22. Jingle says:

    very visual and sharp one…
    i see it happen in your words.
    cheers..

    Like

  23. Textures abundant adored your poem. Beautiful images and thoughts that featured the many textured aspects of life. Blessings to you, Victoria…

    Like

  24. Jamie Dedes says:

    Wonderful textural fun. I could FEEL and see. Perfect. I love the picture of the circus and horse and the color and excitement of that juxtaposed with the dawn and dog and a sense of peace and slowly getting into the day.

    Fine work, Victoria. Thank you!

    Like

  25. Carl says:

    I love this one. It really takes you away to that morning feeling and feeling of hope for what is here now and what might be.

    Like

  26. ladynimue says:

    Beautiful imagery .. difficult to mark illusions from dreams from real 🙂

    Like

  27. souldipper says:

    Riding barefoot – standing on a white horse? I would love to wake up to that thrill. Followed by the pitter patter of bare feet on a cold floor running to the bathroom. Great textures, Victoria.

    Like

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