Old Folks at Play–Response to Monday Morning Writing Prompt

Truckee River Reno, Nevada

Image via Wikipedia

Old Folks at Play

“It’s been a while,” he said.


“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Don’t make me stop to think about it; I’ll find a reason not to.” I sat on the huge boulder along side the river and unlaced my tennis shoes. The rock was cold and hard, reminding me I was no longer young. My butt wouldn’t tolerate more than a couple of minutes of this.

“Remember when we used to sit here for hours, Chuck. Reading or dozing while we waited for the trout to bite?”

“Never did catch anything worth eating. C’mon, let’s do it.”

He reached for my hand, snuggled it securely in his calloused grip. Warmth and a sense of confidence settled in my old bones.

This is crazy. My rational self tossed out images: broken bones, snagged fish hooks, arthritic pain.

The rocks leading to the shore were rough. Grass and fox tails pricked my bare skin. Chuck tightened his grasp and I guessed he was toying with second thoughts too.

The first step into the Truckee startled  and I shrieked. Snow melt from the Sierra rushed over my feet then up the calves of my legs. The smooth stones soon gave way to muck that squished between my toes. A fish slithered against my ankles, its scales tickling my bare skin. I struggled to keep my footing.

Chuck turned to me and slipped his arms around my waist. I remembered how it used to be and then he pulled me to himself and blew softly into my ear.

“You’re not really thinking of…”

His mouth closed over mine to silence my doubts.

Two hours later, I helped him fold the blanket we’d spread out on the river bank. In my memory, I could still feel the crunching leaves beneath my body and the weight of my husband on top of me. Those little aches and pains that had been our constant companions for a good part of the last decade remained forgotten.

“You’re gorgeous, Agnes,” Chuck whispered.

I felt my pulse bounding in my head and caressed Chuck’s stubbly cheek. “Don’t let anyone tell us we’re too old, sweet stuff.”

That was when I noticed a gaggle of teenage boys, watching from a clump of bushes.

My response to the prompt for MMWP to write a poem or flash fiction that included texture. Check out other submissions at: https://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/monday-morning-writing-prompt-texture/


13 thoughts on “Old Folks at Play–Response to Monday Morning Writing Prompt

  1. Jamie Dedes says:

    You got me. Sweet and funny and thanks for the chuckle.


  2. I always feel great when I see old couples walking on the street and holding their hands, it means that love does last long …

    Lovely story Victoria, the end was funny!


  3. A lovely story and worthy of publication. The ‘oldie’ magazines will enthuse over this.


  4. Hey guys…keep in mind this is flash FICTION.


  5. brian says:

    haha…the boys…well you probably gave them hope for their parents…lol…this was a delight…keep that love alive..


  6. hedgewitch says:

    Let em watch, maybe they’ll learn something. Enjoyed this one a lot, Victoria. I’m not jumping naked into the river anytime soon though. ;_)


  7. souldipper says:

    Oh, Victoria, I wish this for every senior couple who has the chutzpah to dare! I love this story. I want to be her in that experience.

    Does your husband know he’s in trouble? 😀


  8. trisha says:

    beautifully written victoria. 🙂
    the climax was a bit embarassing.


  9. Bodhirose says:

    Oh, wow, the last line–hehehe! Showed those young whippersnappers a thing or two didn’t they! This was just overflowing with feeling, Victoria–the muck between the toes, the slithering fish, crunching leaves… I loved it!


  10. This is a sweet story about the reality of how we can still continue to desire someone we love no matter how much we age. I have witnessed a great many elderly here in Florida who love so tenderly. It is a beautiful tribute to the endurance of deep and abiding love. Wonderfully written …. Thank you for sharing it.



  11. dragonkatet says:

    :O! Fabulous!! The writing drew me in and kept me rapt with attention. But the last line made my jaw drop. LOL – well, you showed them how it’s done, eh? 😉


  12. wonderfully written…so engaging…I hope to grow old with my beloved and have some teens peep at us as we make love somewhere beautiful and forbidden as we did when we were much, much younger!


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