Luke Prater is hosting Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft at dVerse Poet’s Pub: http://dversepoets.com/ We invite you to link up a poem of yours for some expert critique. Luke discusses eliminating redundancy, tightening up those words so that they deliver the message more effectively. Be sure to read his masterful instructions. I chose this poem that never quite worked for me and immediately saw a problem: everywhere I’ve written “because” I had “Partly because…” Yikes. Talk about unnecessary adverbs. Anyhoo, join up. You won’t be sorry.
it barely had a taste of life,
sipping nectar from the Carolina Jasmine
or our feeder (once or twice)
before the hawk swept in,
leaving behind only a few feathers.
Because I had waited, watched
the mother sit upon a tiny egg
within a tiny nest sheltered in the
prickly branches of a
Because she hovers just
outside my window,
lingers nearby in case her little one
returns. Because of that, I grieve.