“The End”–for dVerse Poetics


What, me film noir?

The End

No words to speak—none needed now.
Your body emanates disdain,
brusque movements tell your love was feigned.

Outside our window, on a bough,
a blackbird caws, dark winter thaws,
as does the meaning of our vows.

Empty expressions, pulsing pain,
no words to say what’s needed now.

This week at dVerse Poetics, Sheila Moore http://shewriting.blogspot.com/ the opportunity to write about silent movies. I chose a drama that occurs, all too often, on and off the screen. The form is an Octain, developed by Luke Prater http://lukepraterswordsalad.com/.

Stop by the pub, go back in time, and enjoy some great poetry about those silent films: http://dversepoets.com

Thanks you Sheila…and Luke, for the form.

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31 thoughts on ““The End”–for dVerse Poetics

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  2. Victoria, this poem spoke to me about a relationship. To me it was the emotional backdrop of someone discovering, rather painfully, that something dear, a love that was once shared, is not real, or is less than what it should be. I found it beautiful With that said, formal poems scare me. That’s my own personal downfall, though. The truth is I am just an incredibly simple person. As a reader of poetry I feel (in my simple way) that poets often sacrifice beauty and emotion to follow a form. Embarrassingly, but truthfully, even some of the worlds most sincerely acclaimed poets baffle me because their lyrics find no meaning for me, their words seem trapped in the rigidity and relentless constraints of the form itself. Often I feel like the lone child in the street screaming “But the king has no clothes on…..” Honestly, I do not find beauty in a form. -Are forms smart? Yes. Challenging for the poet? Yes. That’s fun, I’m sure. But unless the poet can stay within his form while at the same time presenting the aesthetic beauty of words and sounds and emotions then I find myself without the patience to finish it. Your poem, “The End,” hit every one of those beauty hallmarks. It is an emotion beautifully written, conveyed with the sincerity of someone who loves and is hurt, it is an emotion quite familiar to me and I’m sure to anyone with a heart, and it touched me personally because of that. The fact that it stays within the guidelines of that somewhat difficult form, Octain, says legions about your mastery. Beautiful poem. I went to Luke’s site and found his description of the form and have saved it in case I should find myself in a daring poetic mood someday! Luke seems well adapted to it as well, btw…….

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  3. zumpoems says:

    Enjoyed this even more on the second reading. Really captures the essence of the silent screen but then extends to some further reaching meaning.

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  4. zumpoems says:

    No wasted words, very compact and elegant.

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  5. Peggy Goetz says:

    I like this, the images, the play of language. Good job.

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  6. Jamie Dedes says:

    Nice! I do remember when Luck developed the octain. You used it to good effect.

    Love the old silents, don’t you. I’m sure you went to the Stanford Theatre when they had them and you were still living here.

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  7. Bodhirose says:

    You set the stage well with this one, Victoria–loud and clear. Love it.

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  8. Luke Prater says:

    evocative. The form serves you well as a vehicle here.

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  9. Laurie Kolp says:

    A horrible situation to be in penned beautifully and with deep emotion, vivid images.

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  10. kez says:

    so sad and beautiful a moment captured ….thank you x

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  11. I really liked your poem!

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  12. mbwilliams says:

    You caged a powerful moment, well done

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  13. PattiKen says:

    This is so good. I think one of the things that made silent films so powerful is that they frequently portrayed a universal theme. The acting was what brought those themes home. The acting in your poem does the same thing. Well done.

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  14. David says:

    A wrenching write, Victoria. The blackbird in winter aptly captures the sense of loss.

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  15. Fabulous octain! I love the form and the infusion of emotion within the confines. Exceptional.

    Beth

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  16. Image filled, dark, deep, and very sad but lovely.

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  17. Heaven says:

    A sad and tragic ending you painted very well. True, sometimes words are not enough:

    “Empty expressions, pulsing pain,
    no words to say what’s needed now.”

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  18. zongrik says:

    I like how you are saying that the acting is so good, that the images are so powerful, that no words are needed.

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  19. viv blake says:

    I love this poem – for the words and the feelings, and for the skill you have shown with rhyme and half rhyme.

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  20. S Basu says:

    What a poem. it was extremely expertly woven victoria.

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  21. WOWSER! That was some writing. Arresting. Beautiful in its sadness. Your own silent moment. The photo was very effective. But your poem was outstanding. I think my fav so far from you. Excellent. Inspiring and impressive.

    http://henryclemmons.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/jazz-singer/

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  22. Sheila Moore says:

    a drama painted black with your dramatic words…an all too heart-breaking truth for many. nice one, Victoria.

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  23. Yes, you did capture an all too familiar drama that occurs everyday on and off screen. I was going to choose a favorite part, but I like all your word choices equally 🙂

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  24. Glynn says:

    Thsio peom evokes the silence of silent films, the sounds that are happening outside the film, and in such a few words makes it personal. Well done.

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  25. This line says it all: “Your body emanates disdain”

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  26. Fantastic take on the prompt, such marvelous word choices, and imbued with sharp emotion!

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  27. brian says:

    nice piece…rather lyrical victoria…thawing as our vows…nice play there…not a great feeling..smiles. you close is tight with emotion…

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  28. hedgewitch says:

    “a blackbird caws, dark winter thaws..” that really gels the whole scene, and this does read like a cinematic scene, all too true to life as so many of them are, especially the pantomimes of the silent era, where, like this poem, much is expressed without speaking.

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