Betrayal


English: Betrayal of Christ

English: Betrayal of Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Black notes hang
in a barren equinox sky,
fade into a cry of
coarse wonder that echoes
in a dark tunnel.

You balance the cup
of deep water before
a moment of stolen hope emerges
then abandon yourself
to pure gravity

before ripping apart the
warm apple.
Can you carve
wind into a blur of
textures or

sew rags for dappled
ghosts who fold them
in your tree-house?
The memory of a crowing
cock haunts you

constantly, doesn’t it?
Blood clots slowly
when you
break your promises.
Doesn’t it?

This is an impressionistic account of the biblical story of Jesus’ betrayal by Judas and his subsequent denial by Peter, considering Kelvin’s prompt for Saturday’s dVerse Poetics but linked to dVerse OLN. The stories illustrate human responses to failure. Overwhelmed by guilt, Judas despaired and hung himself, while Peter held on to hope and received forgiveness.

 

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35 thoughts on “Betrayal

  1. janehewey says:

    Besides the gripping topic and wonderfully spun imagery, I so enjoy how you’ve linked Stanza 4 w/ S 5. The question repeated in the last stanza brings this home. As if to say, are you listening? Do you know? incredible.

    Like

  2. Beth Winter says:

    Excellent. It astounds me that man never seems to learn and continues to perform the same cruel acts over and over. Incredibly strong write.

    Like

  3. lucychili says:

    haunting

    Like

  4. Jamie Dedes says:

    The human condition, human nature, and perfect topic for the season. Well done, Victoria. Enjoyed and read over several time.

    Hope bookish things are going well.

    Like

  5. Ouch, Peter’s betrayal has always been one of the hardest stories to read – because he never thought he would do it either. You’ve captured this story with an absolutely stunning poetic take on it. I almost hear a distant silent “Et tu Brute?” in your words. Amazingly done as usual – this was one intense subject to do justice to – but I feel you did it so well 🙂

    Like

  6. Akila says:

    Profound expressions! betrayal…takes more than a heart and courage to admit, accept, live and above all, to to live forgiven!

    Like

  7. Renee Espriu says:

    I like this interpretation, Victoria. Brings this all to life.

    Like

  8. Pamela says:

    Victoria, you portray betrayal with some hard hitting lines here. The ending is powerful, and I wonder if the very people who betray us really care in the end.

    Pamela

    Like

  9. This is so evocative. It has the hard brilliance of a finely cut diamond. I love it.

    Like

  10. Kelvin S.M. says:

    …betrayal – one word i can’t afford to happen to me & to do with anyone… and you clearly demonstrate the reason why… and i think i couldn’t agree you more on your hitting punch at the end… absolutelu great write Victoria.. enjoyed it thank you… smiles…

    Like

  11. The way you ended the stanza but not the thought just adds to the emotional break that one feels when one is betrayed–is that what you intended?

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  12. Tony says:

    It’s not just betrayal that you’ve captured here Victoria; it’s the effect of betrayal on the betrayer. This poem definitely rewards anyone who will read it more than once – and slowly – allowing the images to sink into their consciousness.

    Like

  13. claudia says:

    being betrayed is terrible, being betrayed by a friend you shared your life with is just beyond, beyond terrible..you captured the heavy emotions well..

    Like

  14. indieflower says:

    I really like these lines together:
    “before ripping apart the
    warm apple.
    Can you carve
    wind into a blur”

    Excellent line breaks. And oh my, that last stanza is phenomenal.

    Like

  15. souldipper says:

    Jesus, Peter and Judas – reminding me of forgiveness. Love to you, Victoria.

    Like

  16. apshilling says:

    hi victoria 🙂

    i have to say, that at first i choked on my coffee, as i misread the picture underline: English: Betrayal of Christ . . . i thought it was an unfair accusastion leveled at my coutrymen! 🙂

    without doubt this is my favourite subject . . . somewhat of an obsession since childhood . . . i think you do a great job of compacting and exploring the widescreen with an impressionistic flourish 🙂

    Like

  17. Ruth says:

    oh, well done impressionistic interpretation of the pic – the poem is haunting, the early questions (in the last stanzas) like a riddle (i love this one)

    “Can you carve
    wind into a blur of
    textures”

    and harden to bullets toward the end

    great read, thought-provoking

    Like

  18. Brilliant and profound. A gift.

    Like

  19. Very strong images, impressions of the greatest of betrayals…shameful denial…ways of dealing with the pain…felt deeply.

    Like

  20. jmgoyder says:

    Fantastic and could be applicable to many situations.

    Like

  21. Grace says:

    The opening lines are stellar and drew me in….Betrayal at its best ~

    Lovely work Victoria ~

    Like

  22. ayala says:

    A wonderful write, Victoria.

    Like

  23. WabiSabi says:

    This whole poem begs to be reread several times slowly, to take each part in, to chew it , meditate on it even, and slowly digest it. There is a sense of guilt that reaches out to the reader, demanding ownership! It’s the powerful,”Doesn’t it?”

    Like

  24. Ambitiously written, but effective – terrific ending…
    http://www.scotthastie.com

    Like

  25. hedgewitch says:

    Whatever the story may be, Victoria, it’s a wonderful poem, a powerful and compelling narrative of betrayal, full of beautiful, if stark, images.

    Like

  26. Other Mary says:

    I just love these lines:
    Can you carve
    wind into a blur of
    textures or

    sew rags for dappled
    ghosts who fold them
    in your tree-house?

    Your poem questions the Judas in us all, wow!

    Like

  27. RL King says:

    This was a riveting piece full of emotional imagery. Loved it.

    Like

  28. heidi says:

    I agree that the last stanza is powerful, and it is the part of the poem that remains with me. I feel uncomfortable, and I think it’s because it seems to me that there is some vengeance in the last lines. I think that the repetition of “doesn’t it” that feels like the speaker is grinding glass into a wound.

    Like

  29. Bodhirose says:

    That last stanza is intense. The human mind fixated on guilt is a killer for sure. Powerful, Victoria.

    Like

  30. brian miller says:

    well now…your closing lines def sit hard on the stomach…betrayal is such a …i dont even know the words…funny i can relate to peter on some levels though, more than many a disciple….seriously the closure on this one punches…

    Like

  31. alan1704 says:

    Lots of excellent images and pictures in this. It gives a real sense of betrayal and malice. You have captured a tortured side of the event very well.

    Like

  32. Mary says:

    Oh yes, I can imagine that Peter’s denials really haunted him. He said he would not ……. and then he did ….three times. Your last stanza about blood clotting slowly when you break your promises speaks reams! Another strong write, Victoria.

    Like

  33. Wow, a deep insight into human nature

    Like

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