The Rest of the Story–Sunday Whirl

Source Unknown

Source Unknown

On the day after the day of rest that God took after completing the work of creation, God gathered a few of his angel friends.
“It’s all so beautiful, isn’t it?” God said, “but I can’t help worrying just a bit. I have to wonder if it was a big mistake.”

Most of the angels were encouraging, but Lucifer, the light-bearer piped up. “I told you so, God,” the luminous angel said, tossing his wings wide-open for effect. “Look at them together under that tree—the one you told them to stay away from. Once you tell someone not to do something, that’s all they can think of.”

“Lucifer, I’m sick of your pessimism. Don’t forget I gave them free will, but also a conscience, and pretty clear instructions. They’ve got what they need to handle temptation. Don’t you believe that?”

“Frankly, God, no. I don’t. Take note—this little experiment of yours in that lab you call Earth wasn’t one of your better thought-out ideas. I don’t think it would take much encouragement to make them go for that juicy-looking fruit. Can I prove it to you?”

God leaned back against a fluffy cloud and sighed. He was concerned about Lucifer, whose light seemed to dim a bit ever since God announced his expansion plan—the plan to clean up and organize the cosmic chaos left behind by the Big Bang. God was afraid of the angel’s intent, detecting a hint of pride that seemed to be seeping into his star-angel’s personality of late. He reached down, plucked a grain of grass from Earth and tasted. The pleasure God found in the sweetness of the grass gave him second thoughts. He considered Lucifer’s challenge. He knew the man and his wife could mess us, but how would he know how this venture would turn out if they weren’t given a chance to prove their loyalty to God?

“Okay, Lucifer. You may go ahead with your request, but you can only have access to the woman. She is clearly the stronger of the two when it comes to resolve.” God turned to the others. “In the meantime,” he said, “we must do what we can to support her from here.”

Well, we all know how that turned out for us humans, but in the heavenly realm, when Lucifer returned to the Kingdom, his pride has exploded so as to completely put out his light. He was unbearable to be around. God thus banished him to the netherworld.

As for the rest of the troops, God called another council and they came up with the plan to send out armies of angels, one for each human, to help nudge them toward making wise decisions.

And now you know the rest of the story.

Written for Sunday Whirl, where we gather to create poetry or flash fiction out of a Wordle–a list of random words, underlined in the above flash fiction. Since I’ve been writing so much poetry of late, I’m grateful for a chance to work in short fiction.

17 thoughts on “The Rest of the Story–Sunday Whirl

  1. Nanka says:

    Hello Victoria!! Nice that you remember me from those times!! Yes we did have a great time at Leo’s Haiku Challenges!! 🙂 Great to reconnect!! I had always considered your blog as a neat and clean one!!
    God too has his fun time I suppose!! 😉 Very interesting story which kept me engrossed!! Lucifer banished to Netherworld…….the. passageway, between heaven and earth, his very own kingdom where he rules!! Thank God for those guardian Angles, but in the present times many of them do seem to be neglecting a bit!! 😉


  2. Cathy says:

    hehehe, Well if God had told Lucifer to shut up and take a hike to another planet. Eve wouldn’t wouldn’t gotten tempted. Great piece.


  3. The Real Cie says:

    If I were a deity, I’d be looking down on this mess and thinking My Self, what have I done?


  4. julespaige says:

    I like how you used the wordle list. Their are so many creations stories… and I think they are still being ‘tweaked’.

    Thanks for your kind comments.
    The whole story from the top can be found here:

    But please don’t feel obligated to read it, at least not all in one sitting. As it is over 60 single verse pages long.


  5. Your prose was delightful. Thank you for visiting me.


  6. Pamela says:

    Love how you did this, Victoria. I love the part about cleaning up the chaos. Nice prose.



  7. WabiSabi says:

    I love your fleshing out of this creation story. There are so many of these stories where one wishes for more details and you’ve done that. I am never disappointed when I visit you! thank you for sharing your writing!The Gospel According to a Labrador Retriever


  8. Robyn says:

    Yes, now we know the rest of the story. Enjoyed your writing style!


  9. Mary says:

    Very clever. I do sometimes wonder why God put that tree in the Garden of Eden anyway. Why did He feel compelled to TEST man? If Eve had not eaten the apple, someone else would have at some point. Was God planning to house all of Adam and Eve’s descendants in this small garden? Did God not have a plan for the rest of the earth? Anyway, there are a lot of unanswered questions. But mostly right now I wonder why the need of a TEST at all.


  10. brenda w says:

    I love that you have them cleaning up the cosmic chaos left from the Big Bang. Engaging write, Victoria.


  11. Great wordling. True-ish story. Pride sure did go before the Fall!


  12. Amazing way you wove the words for the rest of the story…
    love it.


  13. 1sojournal says:

    Really like the rest of your story and the manner in which you wove the wordle words in telling it. Myth making is so much fun and I certainly do enjoy reading it.



  14. brian miller says:

    smiles…i feel a bit of paul harvey….the rest of the story…smiles….hey i got no problem with women being the stronger of the two…probably why you got child birth as well..ha…interesting story vic


  15. oldegg says:

    I think my own angel has been a bit slack!


  16. magicalmysticalteacher says:

    I wonder if God really did/does wonder if a mistake was made…I wonder…

    In This World of Lies


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