Tracks on My Heart


Photo: theadvocate.com Truckee River

Photo: theadvocate.com
Truckee River

Last night I filtered sound
through the web of my dreams—
the long, long, short, long
whistle of the train
weaving its way south of the Truckee

close to my tears,
muffling cries, not bitter,
rather longing, for those days
in spring when you were enough.

Back then our love sang the colors
of wildflowers and scents of
new rain. Now, alone, I keep
you  close, in my dream, once more.

I sort through pieces of my heart,
lay them out to be borne away
by gusting wind and the long,
long, short, long whistle
of the train along the Truckee.

A very rough draft, written for Sunday Whirl and dVerse Open Link Night. I invite you to stop by both sites where poetry abounds.

News Flash!!!

I’m pleased to announce the release on Kindle of my first collection of poetry: Jacaranda Rain, Collected Poems, 2012, You will find it for purchase on Amazon (Free for Kindle Prime members). Reviews on Amazon or Goodreads would be most appreciated. 

Cover Photo: David Slotto Cover Art: Victoria Slotto

Cover Photo: David Slotto
Cover Art: Victoria Slotto

 

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41 thoughts on “Tracks on My Heart

  1. Susan says:

    Wonderful to learn to sleep with the train whistle that can enter and provoke dreams, deliver old longings and shi them away again. I love this: “Back then our love sang the colors
    of wildflowers and scents of
    new rain”

    Like

  2. beckykilsby says:

    I loved this immediately Victoria. it doesn’t feel at all rough to me, but fresh and well structured. the music of the train whistle was an inspired device for delivering the memory. Bravo!

    Like

  3. Tracy says:

    i love the train, so eternal. thank you for this piece.

    Like

  4. Linda E.H. says:

    Very nice. The first stanza pulled me in right away and I love “filtered sound through the web of my dreams”.

    Also, “our love sang the colors of wildflowers and scents of new rain” is beautiful.

    Like

  5. Jamie Dedes says:

    Victoria, I think this is beautifully done – evocative, lyrical, sad … Perhaps I’m over analyzing, but the long – long – short – long of the train is a warning that it is approaching. So I infer another layer of complexity here and perhaps in that sense you feel the poem is still draft. ???!!! At any rate: it’s lovely. Bravo!

    Like

    • Yes, it’s the signal the engineer must use when the train is coming to a crossing without a guard gate. There are two such crossings near where I live, to the West of town. We hear them all day and all night and then we hear them as they disappear in the distance. So, in a sense, they are going away, too.

      Like

  6. Poet Laundry says:

    I love “the long, long, short long”…that just sings to me. A wonderful write.

    Like

  7. Rowan Taw says:

    Not sure what’s rough about it, but it was very moving (especially in my current mood).

    Like

  8. I don’t find it as a rough draft Victoria, whistle of the train weaving it’s way and I loved the third stanza.

    Like

  9. Miss Hannah says:

    beautiful longing memory expressed. Congratulations on your first poetry book!!

    Like

  10. lovely poem I especially liked the third verse

    Like

  11. Truedessa says:

    I like the idea of sorting through pieces of my heart..that strikes a chord with me..always looking for the missing piece. Enjoyed your rough run through I would really like to read this when you have finished tuning it up. I’m sure it will be amazing.

    Like

  12. daphnepurpus says:

    Lovely, poignant poem. I especially like the third stanza. And congratulations on your new release.

    Like

  13. yelena says:

    a whistle of the train through the web of dreams and love singing the colors of wildflowers..a mesmerising imagery all throughout..filled with sadness yet singing with special nostalgic joy too..and wonderful to recite..congratulations on the book, Victoria~~~

    Like

  14. naramalone says:

    Congrats on the release. Love the beautiful sadness of this. The way you lay it out fro the train to carry away. Nice 🙂

    Like

  15. ayala says:

    Beautiful poem, Victoria. Congratulations on the new release.

    Like

  16. Pamela says:

    Victoria, you have worked those words into a beautiful piece of writing. It opens beautifully and ends just as well.

    Pamela

    Like

  17. Alex Dissing says:

    What a cool idea, incorporating the train & whatnot. Your description of the train whistle was spot on.

    Like

  18. Such a lovely poem.

    You have made my day with this beautifully crafted piece. 🙂

    Like

  19. I love the reminiscent ambiance of this poem..the reference to the ‘long long shot long whistle of the train’..echoing the time and longing of the memories. Lovely poem

    Like

  20. Mama Zen says:

    Lovely piece, Victoria! Congratulations on the new release!

    Like

  21. Marya says:

    Such a musical poem, with a very lovely rhythm and a feeling of longing. So good, Victoria!

    Like

  22. Gay Cannon says:

    Maybe not the form but the content here is a true American blues. A train, a river, and a long lost love – classic!

    Like

  23. I love this poem. It’s a beautiful composition. Written in prose form serves it well. The only thing that comes to mind is, I wish you had of made reference to the ‘train’ in the third stanza too. The reason why I mention this is because the ‘train’ speaks prominently in your poem. It’s like in music, in every chord played in a composition, one note carries over to the next. Just my thought. Regardless, I love this warm and lovely piece.

    Like

  24. kaykuala says:

    The train whistle has the mesmerizing pull. One can really appreciate it hearing it oneself. Great flow in the poem Victoria!

    Hank

    Like

  25. kelly says:

    So lovely and poignant… really, really love the ending.

    Like

  26. Talicha J. says:

    This had a flow, I really enjoyed this and like how I could practically hear the long, short, long whistles. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  27. poemblaze says:

    Beautiful, mournful poem, yet with some joyous imagery.

    Like

  28. Do you too have memories of those long lost things, like young love or a train whistle familiar to your ears as a child? I find those the most enjoyable things in life and certainly the most wonderful to write about… I enjoyed this very much Victoria…. As a young child, in the summers and after being put to bed by Mum, I could faintly hear the south side train coming through our town around 10 pm or so, if I hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Your poem reminded me so much of that, and the long talks my brother and I had on those nights we couldn’t sleep… What a refreshing memory! Thank you!

    Like

  29. Singing colors of wildflowers and scents of new rain is a great description of new love. I also love the sound of a train whistle coming via dreams.

    Like

  30. howanxious says:

    I loved the combination of voice of emotions with the sound of the train. A sentimental read with the longing for love being felt by the reader. Beautifully crafted.

    Like

  31. Hi Victoria, Please change my e-mail address to kalena@charter.net. I am closing down my business website and this e-mail will no longer be active as of sept. 1st.

    Take Care. I LOVE getting your poetry. I am taking writing classes with TuBears, now that I have more time!

    Kalena Thiessen, CSC, RMT 775-721-3932 (c)

    Like

  32. annotating60 says:

    I love the way the train whistle is like a siren’s call to come to an emotional pause.>KB

    Like

  33. Gabriella says:

    I like how the image of the train emphasises the nostalgia of your poem!

    Like

  34. scillagrace says:

    I smile at the romantic interpretation of train whistles…having been kept awake nights by the insistent blare and rumble outside my bedroom window here in Milwaukee. I suppose it’s all about the memory you attach to the sound, not the sound itself.

    Like

    • Oh, I understand that. There are many, many times I’ve been awakened by them…some of the engineers seem to have a grudge against those of use who are trying to sleep. Most of the time, they blend into the background.

      Like

  35. claudia says:

    i love how you weave in the train whistle here…i’m a sucker for trains as my dad used to work for the railway company and we had free rides… also liked love singing the colors of wildflowers and scents of
    new rain…gives it a scent and i love when poems do this…

    Like

  36. Mary says:

    I really like the last stanza, with the gusty wind and the train whistle both blowing. A reflective write.

    Like

  37. brian miller says:

    i like how you circle back to the train…the train whistle has always been quite evocative to me….i grew up by the tracks and fell asleep to them so it is a bit of a lullaby to me as well….it compliments your feeling…i think in the rewrite i would amp the emo a bit…maybe play off the love song and wild flowers a bit…

    Like

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