Skirting the Eastern Sierra in Autumn–dVerse Open Link Night

Driving South—brilliant orange flambeaux flank velvet blue—Topaz Lake’s smooth skin.
Two weeks later—brittle naked branches stretch, touch gray skies, gray water.



This short poetic form was the creation of Allen Ginsburg. He based it on the Japanese Haiku.
It consists of complete sentences made up of 17 syllables…as many sentences as you like.

This photo doesn’t compare with what I saw driving South on I-395. The trees were a bright cadmium orange on the way down, next to a glass-like aqua lake. I’m kicking myself for not stopping to take a photo. 

I wasn’t able to participate when Gay Cannon posted this for Form for All at dVerse earlier this month, so this is what I’m bringing to the poets’ pub for Open Link Night. Hope to see you there.

26 thoughts on “Skirting the Eastern Sierra in Autumn–dVerse Open Link Night

  1. heidi says:

    I am falling in love with American Sentences.


  2. I’m learning to really enjoy brevity and the volumes that sparsely well-chosen words can speak. Quite a gift you have, my dear!


  3. I love capturing the beauty of nature that I have my sight back fully after 5 years..

    I have taken over 17 thousand pictures in about 2 months on my flickr if I lose my sight again…

    My eyes..will always be there for someone else….

    It is wonderful I honor nature with a photograph that can now last for close to long as servers stay..lit up with the energy of today…


  4. I’m not a fan of Ginsburg but this was very beautiful in your simplistic experience / expression.


  5. Truedessa says:

    I enjoyed the first one full of color it amazes me how quickly the scene changes with the season.


  6. vbholmes says:

    Good capture of the seemingly overnight transition between seasons. I like your use of the Ginsburg sentences.


  7. I should probably not write the following: I love how the explanation uses that many words compared to the poem itself!
    Regarding the poem, I have to say that I like it but I do not think that the nice blues in the photo fit the words. Maybe try the photo in B&W?


  8. Lydia says:

    Wondrous: the area you describe, your poem itself, and the poetic form that I just learned about from you! Thank you.


  9. Sam Edge says:

    I missed this form – very cool.


  10. apshilling says:

    hey Victoria 🙂
    a very snazzy example of a very interesting form. I really like what you did with it – energy and beauty in the mature beat of it. excellent 🙂


  11. kaykuala says:

    Beautifully rendered Victoria, short and sweet!



  12. Morgan says:

    This is an amazing little post…I learned so much with so few lines. Thank You!!!


  13. Abhra Pal says:

    Such a wonderful effect of brevity. Marvelous.


  14. Linda says:

    What a neat form this is. I love the treatment of brilliant colors & textures contrasted with emptiness and gray. Striking piece.


  15. vivchook says:

    You’ve captured Topaz Lake very well with your words. I’ve been there in both situations, long ago. Beautiful. I haven’t seen many haibun – an interesting concept to look into. Thank you.


  16. You have made such beauty of contrast…really a very fine poem.


  17. ayala says:

    Lovely, Victoria .


  18. brian miller says:

    i rather like the vibrant…but each season carries a bit of its own beauty as well…i have been writing american sentences almost daily to save and use sometime…


  19. Nara Malone says:

    Love the contrast here between the sentences, like seasons changing.


  20. claudia says:

    brilliant orange flambeaux flank velvet blue…. i can just feel the colors on my skin… love how you capture them in your words… you don’t need a pic…smiles..


  21. Alex Dissing says:

    Gotta love Allen Ginsberg.


  22. The way your contrast the colors to the grey makes this a very nice autumn american sentence… maybe even bringing back the haiku into Ginsberg… very good.


  23. Gabriella says:

    I like how you captured and showed us two distinct ‘poetic shots’ of the same place, Victoria. Beautiful photo even if you regret not having taken one earlier.


  24. walthe310 says:

    Reblogged this on Bell Book Candle and commented:
    Green, yellow, red, brown

    Floating, tumbling down


    Sculpted by the wind



    Rich scent

    Thin tendrils like fingers

    Reach for the sky



    For the next generation of

    Autumn leaves.


  25. Mary says:

    Your ‘first stanza’ really expresses the brilliance of the beauty of nature. I empathize with not taking a photo & later thinking back and wishing one would have. Your ‘second stanza’ shows us how quickly things can change!


Your comment and feedback are important to me. Thank you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s