Driving South—brilliant orange flambeaux flank velvet blue—Topaz Lake’s smooth skin.
Two weeks later—brittle naked branches stretch, touch gray skies, gray water.
Photo: JohnandAileen.com
This short poetic form was the creation of Allen Ginsburg. He based it on the Japanese Haiku.
It consists of complete sentences made up of 17 syllables…as many sentences as you like.
This photo doesn’t compare with what I saw driving South on I-395. The trees were a bright cadmium orange on the way down, next to a glass-like aqua lake. I’m kicking myself for not stopping to take a photo.
I wasn’t able to participate when Gay Cannon posted this for Form for All at dVerse earlier this month, so this is what I’m bringing to the poets’ pub for Open Link Night. Hope to see you there.
Victoria C. Slotto, Author 
I am falling in love with American Sentences.
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I’m learning to really enjoy brevity and the volumes that sparsely well-chosen words can speak. Quite a gift you have, my dear!
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I love capturing the beauty of nature again..now that I have my sight back fully after 5 years..
I have taken over 17 thousand pictures in about 2 months on my flickr page..so if I lose my sight again…
My eyes..will always be there for someone else….
It is wonderful I think..to honor nature with a photograph that can now last for close to forever..as long as servers stay..lit up with the energy of today…
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I’m not a fan of Ginsburg but this was very beautiful in your simplistic experience / expression.
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I enjoyed the first one full of color it amazes me how quickly the scene changes with the season.
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Good capture of the seemingly overnight transition between seasons. I like your use of the Ginsburg sentences.
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I should probably not write the following: I love how the explanation uses that many words compared to the poem itself!
Regarding the poem, I have to say that I like it but I do not think that the nice blues in the photo fit the words. Maybe try the photo in B&W?
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Wondrous: the area you describe, your poem itself, and the poetic form that I just learned about from you! Thank you.
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I missed this form – very cool.
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hey Victoria 🙂
a very snazzy example of a very interesting form. I really like what you did with it – energy and beauty in the mature beat of it. excellent 🙂
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Beautifully rendered Victoria, short and sweet!
Hank
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This is an amazing little post…I learned so much with so few lines. Thank You!!!
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Such a wonderful effect of brevity. Marvelous.
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What a neat form this is. I love the treatment of brilliant colors & textures contrasted with emptiness and gray. Striking piece.
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You’ve captured Topaz Lake very well with your words. I’ve been there in both situations, long ago. Beautiful. I haven’t seen many haibun – an interesting concept to look into. Thank you.
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You have made such beauty of contrast…really a very fine poem.
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Lovely, Victoria .
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i rather like the vibrant…but each season carries a bit of its own beauty as well…i have been writing american sentences almost daily to save and use sometime…
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Love the contrast here between the sentences, like seasons changing.
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brilliant orange flambeaux flank velvet blue…. i can just feel the colors on my skin… love how you capture them in your words… you don’t need a pic…smiles..
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Gotta love Allen Ginsberg.
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The way your contrast the colors to the grey makes this a very nice autumn american sentence… maybe even bringing back the haiku into Ginsberg… very good.
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Just lovely!
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I like how you captured and showed us two distinct ‘poetic shots’ of the same place, Victoria. Beautiful photo even if you regret not having taken one earlier.
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Reblogged this on Bell Book Candle and commented:
Green, yellow, red, brown
Floating, tumbling down
Mounds
Sculpted by the wind
Burning
Smoke
Rich scent
Thin tendrils like fingers
Reach for the sky
Ash
Food
For the next generation of
Autumn leaves.
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Your ‘first stanza’ really expresses the brilliance of the beauty of nature. I empathize with not taking a photo & later thinking back and wishing one would have. Your ‘second stanza’ shows us how quickly things can change!
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