On Sharing Life–Monday Meanderings



Image: lifequotes.com

Today (Sunday, the 19th) is our 23rd Anniversary. We’ve chosen to celebrate quietly at home (football games) and it’s given me some extra time for reflection.

I’m in wonder at the fact that we’ve made it this far. A first marriage for both of us, in our 40’s, many (of my family, at least) didn’t think we would make it. Used to being on our own, both of us independent, stubborn even.

We’ve been through a lot together. David has truly been a companion in this journey of life. Oh, I’ve had moments when I’ve want to escape, as I’m sure he has. We’ve both had to make plenty of compromises.

We’ve had moments of self-centeredness but marriage is a tool that is meant to hew away some of those rough edges, to help us grow in all dimensions of living. If we’d chosen to remain single, we could have had everything our own way. We could have maintained control over each detail of our lives. We could do what we want, when we want and attain the heights of self-involvement…and the depths of loneliness.

Instead, here I am–a football fan, bemoaning my team’s loss, still clothed in a team jersey discussing the nuances of play calls (and what I considered to be lousy officiating). Trust me, I didn’t know anything about football when we married. Now I enjoy it (especially when we win.)

Here I am, often waiting for him to come home from golfing or grocery-shopping–aware of that inner GPS that homes in on him, that makes little adjustments to my schedule so I can wave to him when he passes by on the 12th tee outside the kitchen window.

Here I am, grateful to have someone to pick up after on the one hand while, on the other, having someone who puts up with my neurotic tendencies and absent-mindedness and who will wage war on anyone who may take advantage of or threaten me.

True, now and again that escape fantasy returns, but whatever is behind it is settled before bedtime and most often, by morning time, I can’t remember exactly what it was all about as we settle into another day of our life together–and today, celebrating our 23rd year. Oh, and by the way, he does the cooking.

Photo: Janice Black 2010

Photo: Janice Black 2010

17 thoughts on “On Sharing Life–Monday Meanderings

  1. Lindy Lee says:



  2. claudia says:

    ah that is a lovely pic… and a wonderful love story…remember when you told me a bit about the two of you when we met… have a wonderful anniversary victoria…even though i’m a day late…smiles


  3. PoetJanstie says:

    … and, by the way, Victoria, Happy Anniversary and congratulations!


  4. PoetJanstie says:

    Victoria, I wish I could tell you how poignant and full of really important messages this piece is … well, I guess I just did in a way :). What strikes me most is your honesty; this could only come from the pen of someone who is not trying to sell me something. This means something special, very special.

    I am in the 40th year of my marriage to Barbara and I am trying to think of ways to demonstrate my gratitude to her … your writing has helped.


  5. becca givens says:

    Lovely tribute to your marriage and companionship — Happy Anniversary – and here’s to many more years of joy! We celebrate our 23rd (yikes 😀 ) in April!!


  6. Melva & I are working on 21 years together; third marriage for both; love the insights & sharing about the parameters & benefits of marriage, accommodation, & staying together; happy anniversary!


  7. dragonkatet says:

    Big congrats, Victoria! I adore the picture of you both on this post. 🙂 You both look very happy. I guess after 23 years you are even more well-suited for one another. My significant other does the cooking, too – isn’t it nice to have a man who knows his way around the kitchen? 😀 Anyway, Happy Anniversary!


  8. brian miller says:

    happy anniversary…big smiles…
    i am sorry for your team, i was pulling for them…and the officiating sucked…
    but lets think more on love and what it does to us…smiles…


  9. Laurie Kolp says:

    Happy Anniversary, Victoria!


  10. scillagrace says:

    Happy Anniversary to you both!


  11. K. A. Brace says:

    Congratulations, I wish you a happy carefree day of enjoying each other’s company.


  12. What a beautiful post and Happy Anniversary. Thank you for sharing this with us.


  13. Victoria, so so lovely. You made me tear and almost make me want to get married again. You have no idea what a feat that is! LOL!

    Happy Anniversary! Congratulations on your years together. Glad you had a pleasant day.


  14. Lovely. Love and longevity in marriage is found in the small things that you have described, in knowing that life would not be the same without the other. May your years continue to pass in the contentment you have found together!! BTW, mine likes to cook too–definitely a “plus!”
    Happy Anniversary to you both!!


  15. Happy Anniversary, 23 years is certainly a milestone, especially these days.


  16. Happy anniversary!


  17. I enjoyed this glimpse of your lives together. Congratulations.


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