Dialectic


Dante and Beatrice Image: artvalue.com

Dante and Beatrice
Image: artvalue.com

Voce 1

Life’s taken them for such a cruel drive
who walk this earth with no one at their side.
Who wait in dread the dark’ning of each night
and brood, releasing hope of dreams that lied,
exacting blood and tears as though to wage
revenge—reminding their poor souls, unsaved,
to spend each night repenting choices made,
repelling those who care, afraid to face
the truth. They wallow in the wounds they nurse.
They flee from fam’ly, friends and church.

Voce 2

Chill out, dear Dante, how you make it worse!
Remember that another paid the purse,
how you’ve been loved by one who calls you back.
So ditch the gloom. Rejoice, hold fast. Take that!

This is a delayed response to Tony’s Meeting the Bar prompt to write a Bout Rime. It needs a lot of work, especially the final quatrain. I wanted to lighten it up a bit but…any ideas? Linked to dVerse Open Link Night.

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15 thoughts on “Dialectic

  1. Rallentanda says:

    The first one is very well penned. I like the irreverence of wagging the finger at Dante as well:)

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  2. Grace says:

    I love the response specially Voce 2 ~ Well done on use of end words (I missed out on this challenge ) ~

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  3. ladynyo says:

    Oh, I like this very much….and it rhymes!

    But I especially like the ‘answer’….as Bjorn said: raising the finger to that dantonian gloom! LOL!

    Beautifully constructed….with intention.

    Lady Nyo

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  4. Victoria I love how you raised that finger to the menacing dantonian gloom. It was worth waiting for. So are you ready for a sestina challenge?

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  5. Abhra Pal says:

    Oh! that’s a heart warming take on the prompt – I like the change of voices for the sake of completeness and of course, the note in which you chose to conclude. Think about all the love and ditch the gloom. So true.

    Tony’s theme was a bit difficult for me and like you I wrote a very late.

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  6. Loved your version for bout-rimes Vick – unique.

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  7. Blow bout rime – this is a full-blown sonnet, complete with a volta that made me laugh. An amazing poem.

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  8. hanna says:

    Nothing short of brilliant!
    And the coda was an inspiration. Also the fact that you turned the word ‘nurse’ into a verb, which made it more usable.

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  9. claudia says:

    haha… you had me laugh out loud when reading the second voice… a cool idea victoria…and we should def. chill a bit more…smiles

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  10. Ahh…to knowNOW that all of Dante’s rings of hell are
    reflected in heaven..
    in stairs of gold…:)a gaze of beauty
    always to hold…
    NOW

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  11. brian miller says:

    haha…nice call and response in this between the two voices….i kinda like the second…cause they gave me a bit of a chuckle…yes, enjoy life while you have it….well played

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  12. Mary says:

    I think the dark Voce I works well. I would not change a thing. Voce II, in contrast, made me smile.

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  13. Roberta says:

    Reads well to me! (:

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  14. Wow! Taking your time paid off in diamonds! This was a great response to the challenge and unique among all who wrote. I’m afraid I fell into the “expected” story told by the end words; clearly you overcame them to create something beautiful and novel!

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  15. I like the darker Voce 1, and the slant rhymes work well to set the mood and keep it dark, rather than singsongy as straight rhymes might have. Really enjoyed reading this, Victoria. Well done.
    (BTW, can you send a bit of that 80 degree heat our way, please?!!!)

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