If I Knew–Monday Meanderings


Sunrise on Coachella Valley, California

Sunrise on Coachella Valley, California

If I Knew That Death Would Visit Me Today

I’d rise at six to watch the sun bleed color into darkness and stop to listen to the symphony of birds—
the caw of crows and coo of doves and brrrz and twitters of the tiny ones.

I’d walk more slowly, taking in the scents of orange blossoms and petunias. Today I’d let the dogs meander, sniff out every tree and hydrant and anything else they fancied, as long as it was safe.

And then I’d golf—Hole #15 only, hit it over the dreaded water on my first try and be ecstatic with a bogey.I wouldn’t do laundry or clean the house. I’d leave the bed unmade, the dishes in the sink and revel in the imperfection of it all.

I’d read the comics and, if none of them gave me a good belly laugh, I’d drag out my collection of Calvin and Hobbes or The Far Side.

I’d make sure that those I love know it and thank them for making my life happier, for their staying power. I’d ask forgiveness and forgive where needed and not forget to forgive myself.

I’d read and reflect on John 14-16, the promises Jesus made at the Last Supper and hold tight to the hope of things unseen.

I’d write one last poem, pour my joy and angst onto the page. I wouldn’t worry about syntax or grammar–nor even effusive sentimentality. There’d be no edit to obfuscate the things I need to say, no worry about who might read it and what they would think.

In the evening I would slow-sip a glass of Rombauer chardonnay on the patio as we watch the sun jump off the edge of earth,
then I’d slow-dance with my love to strains of a B-Flat clarinet wielded by Kenny-G.

flickrWe sit beneath desert skies and try, once more, to count the stars and if we fell asleep in one another’s arms, that would be okay. If not, I’d wait  in silence for whatever’s next.

The other day when I was walking the dogs, in a hurry as usual, the idea for this poem came to me. I guess the obvious conclusion is: Why wait?

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18 thoughts on “If I Knew–Monday Meanderings

  1. rmp says:

    this is beautiful. “why wait?” is an excellent question…just be careful not to let the dishes pile up too high.

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  2. Pamela says:

    Victoria, I love this wonderful reflection of living the moment. I have had a lot of thought on this as of late.

    Pamela ox

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  3. claudia says:

    yes…why wait..? we should live each day as if it were our last – ok – we have to do the laundry and wash the dishes…smiles… but then we can slow dance on the patio and take the time to breathe and smell the flowers… i have to remember this…

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  4. Linda says:

    A glorious reflection on the blessing of life at its end, a personal joie de vivre. Everyday should be lived like this!

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  5. A heartfelt and beautiful prose poem. I am incapable of leaving the bed unmade!

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  6. We always think there’s going to be more time or another day but inevitably there comes a time when there isn’t. Thanks for the reminder to live in the present and for the excuse to leave the dishes in the sink and the bed unmade.

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  7. Brian Miller says:

    def a pertinent question…we procrastinate…thinking we always have more time to get to what we need/want to do…but its a false promise….and if we dont chase it…we may never…

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  8. lynndiane says:

    Not every day can be wonder-FULL as the day you describe…but your words remind me to be grateful for those perfect moments. Happy Monday!

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  9. Mary says:

    This is beautiful, Victoria. I feel your words deeply. Ideally we should live each of our days as if it is our last, but in the hustle – bustle of life we do not. But I think, after having read your words to begin my day, I will live a bit more consciously today.

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