Of Hand-Holding and Hugs–Monday Meanderings


 

Photo: love.catchsmile.com

Photo: love.catchsmile.com

Today, David and I had a couple of errands to run—one of which took us to Target to get some dog-care items that we can only find there. As we exited the store, David took my hand. I don’t think I would have noticed because it’s just what we do but then I spotted a middle-aged couple ahead of us, hand-in-hand. And headed in our direction, a young couple, his arm around her. I couldn’t but smile and feel grateful. Here we were: young, 40’ish and older (that’s us), still reaching for one another, still loving and caring for each other.

This brought to mind that today would have been my parents whose 62nd Wedding Anniversary. Both of them had lost their first spouse at an early age and remarried in their 30’s. Right up into their 80’s people would stop them to comment on their obvious affection for each other. And that affection extended beyond us, their family, to many, many fellow travelers on the road of life. One time when I was visiting them, years ago, noted author and lecturer Leo Buscalia made his way through several tables at a Denny’s restaurant in Pasadena to comment on the obvious joy they still found in one another. He said something to the effect that—this is just what I’m trying to communicate in my books.

Mom is still alive at 93, living with a slowly progressive dementia. I called her today but decided not to bring up the date—she remembers my Dad every day and misses him so much. I was afraid I would trigger a bout of unnecessary grief.

Each day I learn more about the fact that, if a marriage or committed relationship is to be for the long haul, both partners have to be willing to put in a lot of work. I learned that first hand growing up, watching my parents deal with the huge challenges of a blended family from very different backgrounds—one that included two daughters the exact same age. (I won’t go into detail about that!)

bestinshowdailySo this week—for those of us who are blessed to still have our partners, let’s focus on being present, expressing love and acceptance, going out of our way for the other. For those of you who have lost a loved one, nurture a loving memory with gratitude—even if that relationship did not have a happily ever after ending. It’s possible to learn something from everyone who is or has been a part of our lives, isn’t it? And for those who are still waiting—may you be open to both the wonders and the work aspect of a relationship.

Sorry that this sounds a bit preachy but when someone has lived a long while, has failed, gotten up and kept on going, when someone keeps trying to love and accept—maybe you will forgive them for thinking they have something to share. God knows, our poor world needs a bit more hand-holding and a lot more hugging.

Have a love-filled week.

 

Find Leo Buscalia’s books at Amazon.com 

Titles include:

Love: What Life is All About;

Living, Loving and Learning;

Loving Each Other and more.

The link will take you there.

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11 thoughts on “Of Hand-Holding and Hugs–Monday Meanderings

  1. brian miller says:

    whole lotta truth in this…love does take work…and when we get lazy with it, our relationships suffer…the little affections often seem the first to go as well….

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  2. Phil and I are always holding hands and touching each other (appropriately, of course) in public. The connection counts. Love feeds on the connection.

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  3. lynndiane says:

    Preach on, sister!! The world needs more love and we all need the tender touch of another human being. Sweet to see older couples still holding hands…marriage is indeed full of wonder and work.

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  4. Gabriella says:

    This is a beautiful post, Victoria. Intend to agree that there is never too much holding of hands nor too much expression of love. My parents have new been married for 52 years and their love for each other is still apparent and inspiring.

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  5. Mary says:

    Victoria, this is a beautiful message. I love it too when I see people walking and holding hands…whether it be the young or the old. What a wonderful example you had in your parents; and how wonderful that Leo Buscalia noticed your parents. (I have read some of his books in the past.) That speaks reams. This makes me want to look around more in restaurants to see if I can tell anything about the people’s relationships by simply observing (in this day and age when so many are tied to their devices). I am going to think about nurturing some loving memories with gratitude today as well as being very thankful for the present. I think that the next book you write should be a good composed of just this kind of chapter. You have a lot of wisdom, and you share it well!

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  6. rmprmp says:

    This is a touchingly beautiful share. I like the picture of the different generations, each displaying the strength of their bond with one another. It definitely sounds, from how you described your parents relationship, that you did indeed learn well from them.

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  7. We will soon celebrate our 33 anniv – and still holding hands. We have in recent years found ourselves friends with much younger couples and are always careful about how we present ourselves as a couple – lovingly and honestly – so many young people don’t have examples of long marriages – a sad fact of life. Thanks, Victoria, nice reminder – K

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  8. Pamela says:

    Thank you for this Victoria. I love hugs and I hug my friends often.

    Pamela ox

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  9. scillagrace says:

    My husband and I started dating when I was 15. We were married 24 years before he died, and we used to lead a Couples’ Workshop every six months at our church. It gave us a chance to get focused on the work of our own relationship for a weekend while introducing the process to others. It is a joy to work on something you’re passionate about!

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  10. Thank you for highlighting the need for togetherness.

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  11. This is a beautiful post Victoria. I have long marveled at those who have managed to stay married over many years. What they have is unique and I do celebrate the love and care they show towards each other.
    I hope my next venture will be more successful than my past efforts.

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