Loss–a Pleiades for dVerse Meeting the Bar




Leaves cover earth’s body,
languish on her chilled skin.
Lashed by October winds
Lonely branches reach up
longing to touch a star.
Lavish foliage falls,
listlessly surrenders.

dVerse Meeting the Bar‘s prompt, offered by Vandana Sharma, asks us to write a Pleiades–a form that calls for seven lines of six syllables, each line beginning with the same first letter as the one-word title. Reference to the cosmos is encouraged.

I would like to invite you to visit my new blog, And Know That I Am, which deals with spirituality with a Christian focus.

33 thoughts on “Loss–a Pleiades for dVerse Meeting the Bar

  1. rmp says:

    ooh…I like this. love the idea of earth’s chilled skin and branches reaching to touch the stars.


  2. scillagrace says:

    I’ve been seeing those seven sisters each night in New Mexico…until last night when the rain washed them away.


  3. Glenn Buttkus says:

    I adore your lines/image of /Lonely branches reach up/
    longing to touch a star/. So many of you did the proper syllable count I feel kind of silly disregarding it.


  4. bleibalien says:

    Groovy piece- it captured the season perfectly. Love- “Lonely branches reach up / longing to touch a star.”


  5. C.C. says:

    “Languish on her chilled skin”—-oooh….powerful. And the idea of listless surrender….you have captured the desolation of the season effectively!


  6. autumn is a season that seems symbolic of loss. Beautiful words Victoria


  7. humbird says:

    Love the melancholia here…the longing…


  8. kaykuala says:

    They try but not all will succeed. All too familiar with Autumn fast approaching! Great write Victoria!



  9. rallentanda says:

    Sad autumn poem with excellent use of the form.


  10. G L Meisner says:

    Great earth poem.


  11. Truedessa says:

    This is lovely..I think we all long to touch a star..


  12. Mary says:

    Ah, Victoria. So nice to see you at Poets United too. Smiles.


  13. Beautiful late autumn poem – wistful and lovely


  14. I like this very much. Beautiful work.


  15. Justin Lamb says:

    I like this tribute to autumn.


  16. Mohana says:

    So beautifully sad.


  17. othermary says:

    Beautiful, particularly your two opening lines.


  18. How lovely this is, how well you have captured the days of Autumn’s final surrender. Your choice of words is beautiful. Especially love the imagery of the bared branches:
    “Lonely branches reach up
    longing to touch a star.”
    And so Autumn surrenders.


  19. wolfsrosebud says:

    Victoria… loved the mood this gave… gentle like a slow falling leaf


  20. Grace says:

    I love that part of wanting to touch the star ~ Perfect for autumn Victoria ~


  21. Susan says:

    Beauiful! My Midweek Prompt at Poets United is “Trees”–I would love to see this longing and surrender there too. Consider posting it?


  22. vandana says:

    Seasons teach us many things ans autumn is one season of teaching us” letting go of”.


  23. arathi says:

    ah the autumn foliage..it sure makes one feel lonely seeing the bare trees..beautiful lines


  24. Sumana Roy says:

    love this autumnal tune..


  25. Your lovely poem almost makes me want to have a go at the Pleiades (which had not so far inspired me). I love the Autumn, but dread what follows!


  26. I like the image of the leaves becoming a blanket for the cold earth.. It makes it worth while despite the hardness of seeing the colors go.


  27. Kathy Reed says:

    ‘listlessly surrendering’ is just how it seems…pretty Pleiades poem.


  28. Jamie Dedes says:


    Good luck with the new blog, Victoria.


  29. billgncs says:

    that one felt just right, you really nailed the meter


  30. Mary says:

    Oh, it is very sad when that foliage falls though….I should be used to it by now, but each year I mourn a bit at this time of year.


  31. brian miller says:

    nice…like how you subtlely worked the star in…another seasonal piece…hoping that we have just a bit longer so the colors get really bright before the falling….nice job on the form v…


  32. zongrik says:

    I like how the lavish foliage falls.


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