Loss–a Pleiades for dVerse Meeting the Bar


 

leaves

Loss

Leaves cover earth’s body,
languish on her chilled skin.
Lashed by October winds
Lonely branches reach up
longing to touch a star.
Lavish foliage falls,
listlessly surrenders.

dVerse Meeting the Bar‘s prompt, offered by Vandana Sharma, asks us to write a Pleiades–a form that calls for seven lines of six syllables, each line beginning with the same first letter as the one-word title. Reference to the cosmos is encouraged.

I would like to invite you to visit my new blog, And Know That I Am, which deals with spirituality with a Christian focus.

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33 thoughts on “Loss–a Pleiades for dVerse Meeting the Bar

  1. rmp says:

    ooh…I like this. love the idea of earth’s chilled skin and branches reaching to touch the stars.

    Like

  2. scillagrace says:

    I’ve been seeing those seven sisters each night in New Mexico…until last night when the rain washed them away.

    Like

  3. Glenn Buttkus says:

    I adore your lines/image of /Lonely branches reach up/
    longing to touch a star/. So many of you did the proper syllable count I feel kind of silly disregarding it.

    Like

  4. bleibalien says:

    Groovy piece- it captured the season perfectly. Love- “Lonely branches reach up / longing to touch a star.”

    Like

  5. C.C. says:

    “Languish on her chilled skin”—-oooh….powerful. And the idea of listless surrender….you have captured the desolation of the season effectively!

    Like

  6. autumn is a season that seems symbolic of loss. Beautiful words Victoria

    Like

  7. humbird says:

    Love the melancholia here…the longing…

    Like

  8. kaykuala says:

    They try but not all will succeed. All too familiar with Autumn fast approaching! Great write Victoria!

    Hank

    Like

  9. rallentanda says:

    Sad autumn poem with excellent use of the form.

    Like

  10. G L Meisner says:

    Great earth poem.

    Like

  11. Truedessa says:

    This is lovely..I think we all long to touch a star..

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  12. Mary says:

    Ah, Victoria. So nice to see you at Poets United too. Smiles.

    Like

  13. Beautiful late autumn poem – wistful and lovely

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  14. I like this very much. Beautiful work.

    Like

  15. Justin Lamb says:

    I like this tribute to autumn.

    Like

  16. Mohana says:

    So beautifully sad.

    Like

  17. othermary says:

    Beautiful, particularly your two opening lines.

    Like

  18. How lovely this is, how well you have captured the days of Autumn’s final surrender. Your choice of words is beautiful. Especially love the imagery of the bared branches:
    “Lonely branches reach up
    longing to touch a star.”
    And so Autumn surrenders.

    Like

  19. wolfsrosebud says:

    Victoria… loved the mood this gave… gentle like a slow falling leaf

    Like

  20. Grace says:

    I love that part of wanting to touch the star ~ Perfect for autumn Victoria ~

    Like

  21. Susan says:

    Beauiful! My Midweek Prompt at Poets United is “Trees”–I would love to see this longing and surrender there too. Consider posting it?

    Like

  22. vandana says:

    Seasons teach us many things ans autumn is one season of teaching us” letting go of”.

    Like

  23. arathi says:

    ah the autumn foliage..it sure makes one feel lonely seeing the bare trees..beautiful lines

    Like

  24. Sumana Roy says:

    love this autumnal tune..

    Like

  25. Your lovely poem almost makes me want to have a go at the Pleiades (which had not so far inspired me). I love the Autumn, but dread what follows!

    Like

  26. I like the image of the leaves becoming a blanket for the cold earth.. It makes it worth while despite the hardness of seeing the colors go.

    Like

  27. Kathy Reed says:

    ‘listlessly surrendering’ is just how it seems…pretty Pleiades poem.

    Like

  28. Jamie Dedes says:

    Bravo!

    Good luck with the new blog, Victoria.

    Like

  29. billgncs says:

    that one felt just right, you really nailed the meter

    Like

  30. Mary says:

    Oh, it is very sad when that foliage falls though….I should be used to it by now, but each year I mourn a bit at this time of year.

    Like

  31. brian miller says:

    nice…like how you subtlely worked the star in…another seasonal piece…hoping that we have just a bit longer so the colors get really bright before the falling….nice job on the form v…

    Like

  32. zongrik says:

    I like how the lavish foliage falls.

    Like

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