Photo: lifehopeandtruth.com
Midwife to the Dying
“Watch with me, please stay.”
Her raspy whisper rouses me from an impending 3 AM stupor. I take her outstretched hand, cold and gnarly. The veins read like a roadmap, the radial pulse thunking in violent resistance to death.
“I’m here.” I squeeze her hand a bit tighter, dampen a small sponge “lollipop” and moisten her cracked lips and tongue. The hissing of oxygen, a gurgling humidifier and her labored breathing play the dirge of dying.
A glow, cast by a small night light, throws the shadow of her struggling profile on the blank wall. “I’m right here,” I say again, as I witness for the umpteenth time the drama of letting go, wondering the while how many others are enacting this final scene of their lives at this moment. Alone.
Watching the dying,
sacred moment of birthing
to another life.
I ask myself once more: “Will someone watch with me?”
Today, at dVerse Poetics, we are honored to welcome our guest host, Lynn, who bids us to consider the title of Harper Lee’s new title, “Go Set a Watchman,” a title based on a verse from Isaiah. I went with a memoir-like haibun.
Victoria C. Slotto, Author 
Very beautiful. And so heartfelt.
LikeLike
Oh yes …..that’s really a strange feeling something mixed with awe and prayers….I too have watched…! Nicely put in words….!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, prayer is an important part of it–at least for me.
LikeLike
That’s so poignantly true – dying to go to another birth. They are calling Dr.Wayne Dyer’s death day Continuation Day. It makes perfect sense.
LikeLike
You have taken the sad reality of leaving this world and paid such tribute to it here with love and dignity. I do believe that it is an honor to be present when someone passes, just as it is at birth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, much like birth.
LikeLike
One still sees it as a continuing closeness to the person.There is still communication, with tears and even with words. Emotions are more positive and still intact.
Hank
LikeLiked by 1 person
A very powerful experience, as you describe.
LikeLike
This is beautiful and touched me deeply as it reminded me of my sister Peggy’s final hours and moments. I especially liked the detail you used — the small sponge lollipop — I remember that, too. Excellent haibun. Peace, Linda
LikeLiked by 1 person
Peace to you as well, Linda.
LikeLike
i suppose if more can hold the hand of dying
so many more will appreciate life..
perhaps what is hidden from
so many.. should
be held in
hands of
both Love
and appreciation
of Life as is NOW..
and no a TV show
is not the same
as the hand of
life that lends
a hand of
friend
to
death
in Life..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Fred. Being with the dying does affect the way we life, as does coming face-to-face with one’s own death…
LikeLiked by 1 person
respect, compassion, dignity – you have brought them all to so many people. You are indeed yourself a blessing
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are all blessings when we accept our own gifts, don’t you think?
LikeLiked by 2 people
It must be such a difference to die alone.. A blessing to feel a gentle touch or that make a small difference in taking those last few steps.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And yet some people choose to be alone. I find we have a lot to say about the circumstances of our dying (most of the time).
LikeLike
oh heck – that brought tears to my eyes – i guess that even when we know where we’re going it is tough to let go anyway. good when there’s someone sitting with us
LikeLiked by 1 person
Most of us do hang on to life…tenaciously! Yet some choose to end it all. How sad to feel so desperate. Those are the people I wish I could be there for, too.
LikeLike
Indeed, when my friend recently died, as she was single and no family about, I feared she would die alone. What a blessing to learn a long time friend kept watch with her as her soul left her poor body. It is an honor and a blessing to do this sacred watch. As an AIDS volunteer, I was privileged to be at these side of those who lay alone and forgotten and to hold their hand and speak to them. I know those you kept watch with felt your blessed presence. It is almost miraculous to watch the transition, to speak to them after the last breath. Beautiful haibun
LikeLiked by 1 person
Back in the early days of AIDS I had the honor of helping to set up and manage one of the first units for them in San Francisco. Very hard to see so much talent and youth go through that with so few treatment options. Bless you for helping.
LikeLike
It was a horror. I lost mny people I loved. I was on the east coast side of the plague. I watched Normal Heart some time ago….iit was spot on and no one seemed to care. And the denial….my aunt set up the care unit in Nashville. She was trained in England for hospice for the first units over here. I administered the Ryan White program in this state for several years. It felt good to do something to help.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Toni, what a special gift to be involved with the Ryan White Foundation. I don’t know if I could stand working with those little ones–it would tear me apart. And England–the birthplace of hospice in a sense. Wow!
LikeLike
I am sure that you, Victoria, were a blessing as you ‘watched’ with those who were dying. You definitely have had a special call in life, there is no doubt. We can all only hope that when it is our time we will have a special ‘watcher’ with us too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Mary. I was blessed.
LikeLike
The hardest thing I’ve had to do was sit in hospice with my mom. When she took her last breath my heart broke. The people that work at hospice are angels.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for being with her.
LikeLike
It’s not just anyone who can sit with grace as someone makes the often clunky transition into whatever awaits us after this life. You describe the scene so well, I feel as if I am there, not knowing what to do, but knowing I must stay to do it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is a gift.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a special ministry it is to watch with the dying…we watched with my husband’s mother also and it was a blessing…for all the family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you were with her.
LikeLike
I hope so as it would be terribly lonely ~ There is something sacredly mysterious about dying & crossing over to be “reborn” to another life ~
A lovely haibun Victoria ~
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some choose to die alone. I’ve seen them wait till a loved one left to use the bathroom!
LikeLike
This is so sad.. indeed it is difficult being the watchman at time of a beloved’s death. My heart goes out to you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Most of the deaths I attended were a part of my life as a nurse–I worked with death and dying for the most part and it was our practice to watch with the dying 24/7. It is always sad to face death, yes, but there are many blessing to being there at that most sacred time of life.
LikeLike
Very powerful compassionate haibun. There is a theory that the soul remains in the room for a short time. Some people continue to talk to the departed. I have to believe that death is merely a doorway, a transference of energy, only the death/demise of the husk we once inhabited.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Glenn. I share your beliefs and also believe that the soul hangs around for a while.
LikeLike
One of the hardest moments of my life was playing watchman at the death of my mother in law . I felt so helpless. Often though I think it is the not being alone in that last moment and helping them face it that can be a blessing we can give them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thinks it’s so important to be a presence–good for you. And I suspect it was a blessing for you, too, X.
LikeLike