requiem
watching life slowly
slip away (calando)
as winter skies bear down
as winds disrupt the birds
as clouds hang low
and inch across the mountains
(down the hall the hiss
of oxygen
and ponderous moans)
I slam the door
and crash upon my bed
as elton’s funeral
for a friend
sounds grave–
ly of lies
this is no friend
who robbed your child
of innocence
in the tree
outside my window
the branches
have been stripped
of leaves
I wrote this for my prompt at dVerse Meeting the Bar. I’m asking for the incorporation of musical concepts as they apply to poetry. This poem is inspired by stories I’ve read in the paper recently. I extrapolated, imagining the feeling of a mother who allowed a child to be abused by her husband or partner. That part is fiction.
powerful……”branches stripped of leaves” is so powerful in this context. And the hyphenated grave – ly across two stanzas is especially effective here. What a wonderful response to the prompt.
Apologies for the late reading…spent the weekend carovting with the grandkids and seeing them in a Nutcracker production 🙂
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watching life slowly
slip away (calando)
as winter skies bear down
As life slips away even nature outside seems to jive in tandem at the despondence feel!
Hank
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I slam the door and crash my head against the bed..this image is powerful and speaks of denial.. you can never hide behind a door of truth.. Does that make sense?
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Like a punch to the plexus, as hope, dreams, & life itself begins to fade. As my hearing & sight grow worse, I grasp at every sound & image like a drowning man to a log; heavy duty piece; smile.
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Oh, such pathos in this, Victoria. The stripped tree at the end sums it all up. Sad, haunting, but beautiful. in a way, it reminds me of Toni’s poem. Both so haunting.
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Bravo, maestra…makes me want to wail.
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I hear a slow and deeply sad lament. Powerful.
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I agree with Bryan and Misky. This is so touching, Victoria.
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Heart wrenchingly crafted. The pain of losing a loved one (even slowly), or seeing a loved one abused. ..both leave us hurting and helpless feeling.
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Love the internal rhyming and meter of this lovely poem. And thank you for the prompt, Victoria.
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A most moving write, Victoria…Love your use of the musical terms – thank you for introducing me to Calando, such an apt metaphor for end of life
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The word calando is so well used, the sadness and the slow rhythm juxtaposed against the image of the bare trees is a stunning moment. Absolutely stunning.
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I totally agree, Björn
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You have left me speechless…!❤️
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This is very touching.
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sad – well crafted
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Oh Victoria. This breaks my heart for you. We both love our mothers so very much. Words cannot express.
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There really are no words 😟
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That stripped tree is such a powerful image, Victoria. Excellent use of the music terms here. Love it. Loved this prompt.
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