by

Vacuum–dVerse Haibun


 

 

 

Vacuum

I am afraid to grieve—afraid that if I open that door a crack those other monsters hidden in the shadows will creep in and invade my peace. Is it because that loss began so long ago, when the brilliance of her mind began to dim, when judgment fled and anger peeked between the clouds? Or has the “business” of dying obscured the underlying pain? And when that’s done (if ever) what awaits? I dread am afraid of grief.

ducklings romp outside
april joy plays in sunshine
hawk swoops in, devours

Kanzen Sakura asks for Haibuns written on the subject of our most honest fears. Visit dVerse Haibun Monday to share.

Photo: Flickr
Labeled for non-commercial reuse

16 thoughts on “Vacuum–dVerse Haibun”

  1. Grace says:
    April 21, 2017 at 6:03 PM

    Very moving haibun Victoria ~ I fear for such immense grief ~ And your haiku is lovely, with life and death weaving together ~

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  2. kanzensakura says:
    April 20, 2017 at 11:51 AM

    BTW…the haiku is remarkable. Gobsmacked me just as mine did you.

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  3. kanzensakura says:
    April 20, 2017 at 11:50 AM

    I understand totally. I have wept daily since my mom was diagnosed. when she forgets my father, when she argues about why she is not in her own home (which was sold years ago), when she talks about walking around outside the NH, all of thise causes me to grieve. I am afraid if I do not grieve, I will not remember the good times. The good times are so intertwined. She is such an odd mixture now of anger, happiness, paranoia, love. I know when she dies, I will begin the grief process all over again because, she is still here with me. When Mama dies, I don’t know how I will react. I guess I will grieve and weep over the her of my youth. I am afraid not to grieve.

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  4. Sue says:
    April 20, 2017 at 1:52 AM

    Aargh, I can identify with this…..

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  5. Robynne Black says:
    April 20, 2017 at 1:35 AM

    Best to balance grief with happy memories, the problem is that the two are often entwined, you sometimes have to have a wee cry first so then you can release the happy memories.

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  6. frankhubeny says:
    April 19, 2017 at 8:10 PM

    Nice haiku about the ducklings and the hawk. I guess I am more afraid of what would cause me to grieve or cause others to grieve because of me rather than grieving itself. Maybe they can’t be separated.

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  7. Bodhirose says:
    April 19, 2017 at 7:50 PM

    This is a tough one, Victoria, because there is much to grieve in our lives and what happens when it has no outlet?

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