Marine
Photo: US Marine Corps
Slow Burn
A Quadrille
In my dream,
spot-fires bleed across the foothills,
crest on the summit,
swoop into our valley,
consume, burn
relentlessly.
I sensed a restless-
ness last night
you told me
“It’s the weather,
the threatening storm.”
In the morning,
when I awaken,
you are gone.
Today I’m hosting the Quadrille at dVerse Poets and the word I’m looking for is burn. I took an old poem that was quite short, changed it up a bit, and this is what came out of it. This is fictional.
Victoria C. Slotto, Author 
Beautiful poem. Loved reading it.
I am relatively new to blogging. Love it when I come across blogs and posts like that of yours.
Just 3 posts old here. I am working on a series of 5 and the 4th post is on the way here.Would be glad if you could drop by my blog.
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Well, I hadn’t expected that ending!
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Love the ending on this, a total surprise.
Thanks so much for that video, I really enjoyed it.
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Oooooo. I wasn’t expecting that last stanza. Wonderful. So foreboding, this.
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Oooh! Nice!
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I love this, Victoria. There’s a whole story (at least hinted) here–the restlessness, the fires burning–a sort of hint of something not right. . .Then in my mind, I wondered if he was a ghost.
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Great idea for a short story.
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I like the ending. It’s surprising, but natural at the same time after that build-up.
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This is beautifully evocative💞 The feeling of restlessness is so palpable.. so incredibly raw and potent. I love how you tie its image to the onset of a storm.
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Loved it, Victoria. It is so vivid !
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I really love how you carry the fear/dread emotion evoked by the thought of those ravenous spot fires and feed it into the story that unfolds in the rest of the poem.
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Dreams have that quality of living one thinking what next and wishing for more! Great job!
Dwight
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Enjoyed your fiction poem. I like to write them, too. Exercise for the imagination, I say.
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The first stanza is beautifully descriptive….and you’ve left me wanting more!
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the weather – threatening storm – and flash fire gone – this is interesting, how there are several layers to this, makes for several ideas crackling … I like the concrete ambiguity of this, if that makes any sense
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I feel like I might have said this before about one of your poems but this feels like the beginning of a novel. So much backstory for the reader to imagine. Nicely written!
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Collecting Conscious
Of Day Dreams ‘Fore
Fire in Morning Light
Dreams Winged
Humming Birds
Dance Sing me
For True Victoria S.. if my right
eye and ear had not caught FiRE
oF HeLL BeLoW For 66 Months my left
foot might not have come one with
A Right
Feat
Dance
allone iN
HeaVeN’s BuRN
At LEasT to me tHiS oNCE iS WoRTH
66 WorDS WiTH FredkuFredbun FLoWeR FReED..;)
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Thank you, Fredie, for this poetic comment.
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SMiLes.. Victoria.. as
ALWaYs. Thanks
For the muse
Of Your
Poetry..:)
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A restless night with dreams of a coming storm for me mean a great change is coming. Are we ready for it?
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The story behind this is…I have no idea what. So make up your own! That’s what happens to fiction writers when they go poetic. The first couple of lines, about the wildfire, is (sadly) not fictional. I live in wildfire country.
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What is the mystery of the fiery storm? You must invent one to go with the poem, even though it’s fictional. We have to have the last chapter
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See comment below, Walter.
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Will do. Time to fire up the imagination
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Ooo – this took me by surprise!
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I love where you take this and I am left wondering who it is who is gone in the morning.
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If you find out, let me know! Ha.
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I liked how you made the transition from restlessness to being gone at the end.
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Mysterious, as if “you” are the spirit of the fiery, restless wind.
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I like this interpretation, Amaya.
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I love the conversation in this dream… but also something like an omen. Such dreams should not be taken lightly.
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I agree with Bjorn about the conversation and that omen dreams are to be heeded. I love the change in tone from the relentless burning in the first stanza to the sensible comment about the threatening storm and then the dismay of final stanza.
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sensing a restlessness….a coming storm….and in the morning, he is gone. That feeling of uneasiness….the knowing something not-good is coming….sometimes a change in the weather can create that sense within.
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