La Nuit Profonde-dVerse Poetics


Le monde, en hiver, se depouille,
attend le retour de la vie.
Et comme la terre, moi aussi,
j’ai soif de l’amour, de la pluie,
de toi, qui seul peut me rempli.

Tu vas, sans parole, dans la nuit.
Je me trouve, sans espoir, dans l’ennui.
Reviens, bienaimé, je t’en pris.
Ne te cache toujours, sans souci.

Photo Credit: kurskroot.com

Photo Credit: kurskroot.com

A Non-Poetic Translation
The Dark Night

The world, in winter, empties itself,
awaits for life to return.
Like earth, I also thirst
for love, for rain,
for you who alone satisfies me.

You leave me, without a word
in the middle of the night.
You leave me without hope, bored.
Come back, beloved, I beg you.
Don’t hide yourself forever, without care.

 

 

Fred Rutherford, over at dVerse, has us writing poetry in a foreign language, or using some foreign words or phrases. I tried to recover some of my long-lost French. Forty years ago, I lived in a somewhat monastic setting in France. That’s why this poem took me where it did.

Any of you who know French, please feel free (encouraged to) make corrections! It’s been a long time.

La Tour St. Joseph, St. Pern, France

La Tour St. Joseph, St. Pern, France

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36 thoughts on “La Nuit Profonde-dVerse Poetics

  1. dani says:

    alas, i barely speak English and no French beyond what i learned from Miss Piggy. {smile}

    i LOVE the English version, Victoria!

    Like

  2. Imelda says:

    I do not understand French, but I see the words and hear the sounds. It is beautiful. The English version is equally lovely.

    Like

  3. Beautiful in both languages!

    Like

  4. lucychili says:

    yes french is a good language for love isn’t it
    the english is also lovely and achy.

    Like

  5. Beautiful poetry really. I love this!

    Like

  6. Jamie Dedes says:

    Victoria you are feature here this evening:
    http://musingbymoonlight.com/
    http://intothebardo.wordpress.com/

    Tomorrow morning a feature will go up here:
    http://brooklynmemoriesmostgreen.wordpress.com/

    Sorry for taking so long to do something. I don’t know where my head is these days. I hope it was okay to use the photos I clipped. Let me know if not.

    Be well …
    Jamie

    Like

  7. Jamie Dedes says:

    Bravo! I love it. I can’t judge the French, but the English version is not only beautiful but I think the French cadence remains. A wonderful job, Victoria.

    Like

  8. I’d say you recovered your French quite well! I’m impressed.

    Like

  9. hypercryptical says:

    Lovely – ’tis a time of loneliness when love abandons us and we await the hope of Spring and new birth…

    Anna :o]

    Like

  10. kaykuala says:

    The French language is always a fascination! One not knowing the language still enjoys just hearing it. That’s the language of love so they say! Nicely Victoria!

    Hank

    Like

  11. Beautiful in both languages ~ how kind you are to translate it for us 🙂

    Like

  12. mefeedyoume says:

    il reste toujours la pluie pour nous remplir 🙂

    Like

  13. becca givens says:

    lovely … absolutely lovely.
    for me … it would be a back and forth workout using Google translate!!
    thank you for sharing.

    Like

  14. Gorgeous. The rhythm and rhyme so affecting en français. I think I had it all but the “beloved” word in French. I like learning a new word in French today. Beautiful love poem. Feels so right. I might try to memorize it.

    Like

  15. Reviens mon amour je te supplie
    French is so beautiful
    Vous m’inspirez ecrire en francaise.

    Like

  16. The first stanza really speaks to me. Beautiful.

    Like

  17. jmgoyder says:

    What a great idea!

    Like

  18. ManicDdaily says:

    Terrific. Magnifique. k..

    Like

  19. kkkkaty says:

    Oh, I love the wistfulness in this ..makes me want to learn French;_)

    Like

  20. ninotaziz says:

    I love this, the longing comes through very poignantly.

    Like

  21. myrthryn says:

    I got most of this without the translation…makes me feel good..lots of French going on…must we all be hopeless romantics?

    I enjoyed reading this..it hurts to have a half of ones life leave..

    Like

  22. HisFireFly says:

    without words now, lost in beauty

    Like

  23. zongrik says:

    this is soooo soo gorgeous

    Bichon Frise

    Like

  24. So beautiful. Such a romantic piece, and the longing is palpable.

    Like

  25. Kelvin S.M. says:

    …I loved this…i’ve always wanted to learn french but i also know it is quite a tough language to learn to because there’s a lot of consonant letters to be pronounced silently…unlike in Nihonggo where pronunciation varies only on ‘ a e i u o’… Ha…french,though, always sounds elegant & pleasing to ears…i really the commanding tone you resonated with this short beautiful verses…i really enjoyed it…smiles…

    Like

  26. Tony says:

    Attempted this in French – not for understanding (no chance) but for the sound and rhythm. Thanks for the English translation – I needed it. It seems quite poetic to me.

    Like

  27. janehewey says:

    In french, words almost always sound like love songs to me. this is a beautiful poem, Victoria.

    Like

  28. Myrna says:

    I’m embarrassed to admit that my bachelor’s degree is in French. I’ve forgotten most of it. But I’m happy that I fully understood your beautiful poem. You did a great job with this.

    Like

  29. vivinfrance says:

    Hi Victoria, a lovely poem, with one or two linguistic problems. I have made some corrections and suggestions in the attached file. Some of my suggestions don’t rhyme, so I have searched out possible alternatives. Lots of love, ViV

    Like

  30. I wish I can understand French but I do appreciate someone reading it to me ~ I like specially like the opening lines for winter’s abandonment ~

    Like

  31. Victoria, this is outstanding. Wish I would’ve read this before I completed the article. I would’ve asked to use it in there, it’s exactly what I was going for, as the tone changes, the words take on their own formations, each seeming like their own poem. Amazing. Thanks

    Like

  32. Mary says:

    A beautiful poem, Victoria. Your French served you well. And the English translation strikes me as poetic as well.

    Like

  33. brian miller says:

    ah a heart felt verse…come back my love….relationships go through seasons much like most things in life…different cycles…the french is pretty cool…i like holding them up to each other and well…i guess learning a bit as well…smiles.

    Like

  34. Laurie Kolp says:

    Winter is a feeling of abandonment… I really like this, Victoria.

    Like

  35. claudia says:

    this is wonderful victoria…read it out aloud..my french is really not good but just love how it sounds…very fine rhymes and great flow…

    Like

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