Near-winter dampness invades the room,
infects our space, lingers in the air like
twinning wisps of frigid breath and
smoke from your cigarette.
You cannot speak or won’t.
Perhaps you heard me. Maybe not.
Or did you seal your ears against the sound
of my newfound understanding?
By the ice-etched window, quiet still,
you stand, scratching petroglyphs
with your fingernail, eyes fixed on a quail
huddled in the branches of a juniper.
Remembering how I wept
when first I read those words,
(only a girl, I could not comprehend
an ending without joy) I sigh.
And though you do not say them now—
not my dear, nor brutal acclamation,
silence screams across the room. It’s true,
you do not give a damn.
But unlike Rhett, you stay—
a witness to hope’s dying whisper.
You do not stir the embers struggling
to give warmth. Our fireplace goes cold.
So happy to be back in the Pub with all my poet friends. Sorry to be so late in posting and visiting you. This is an old poem and it is fiction, thank God.
That screaming silence is the worst. You portray such a feeling of loss between those two…and sadness.
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Love the write. Being cut off is a very sad existence: esp. when you cannot help either way? Cold hearts have no real excuse, unless it is medical. Well done.
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Fogot my link..! This my OLN piece: http://defunct2.wordpress.com/2013/12/15/smoke-and-mirrors/#comments
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Great to be reading your work again Victoria.. this one has some wonderful concrete nouns – juniper, petroglyphs… all beautifully used to build this unmoving character. Painful! And that’s a compliment 😉
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YES! POWERFUL! You had me believing this had recently happened, or IS happening…that’s how good you write. Or am I naive? HAHAHA!
A few words just begging to be freed from my head:
Wherever ember lay warm
can fire amid any storm.
Water from your tears,
shall douse those fears
allowing breath-sweetness
to blow on burning flame
that burning, the same…
called LOVE
PEACE and LIGHT, Victoria
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When silence screams it can be unnerving. Powerfully written piece. Really love this.
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so felt the struggle in this… I like how you used elements of nature to support your story… you know how I like nature
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Oh, this is so, so sad! Love the picture you chose to go with it.
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How silence can scream.. I like the different aspects of silence… hmm
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This tugs at the emotions, depicting heartbreak in skilful word use. Lovely.
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ugh… that is so tough… at a certain point it would be better to go i think as it is tough to live and breathe in the cold…. made me strangely think of bonfire heart by james blunt…. the total contrast… ugh i wish they managed to rekindle that fire again…
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Beautiful use of setting for emotion. Very sad, so cold and dry. We’ll done.
http://www.dangerouslysweet.com
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Beautiful use of setting for emotion. Very sad, very cold and dry.
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You have really created a vivid scene here, Victoria. So hard to be with someone you know doesn’t give a damn and realize this won’t change. Painful.
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Victoria – last but not the least. What a powerful piece of writing you have here? marvelous.
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Thank God! Just finished a depressing novelette, “Remembering Laughter” by Wm. Stegner. Couldn’t stomach another silent mirth void tonight.
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I read a different Stegner novel and, granted, he’s a great writer, but my experience was depressing also.
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i am glad that it is fiction…the death of a relationship is so hard…the hanging on all the worse at times when there is no more warmth in the coals….heavy on the heart is this one…
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Well done Victoria. Very pointed but classy. >KB
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So powerful, so touching.
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