overcast with a strong chance of pain


Photo: mentalfloss.com

Photo: mentalfloss.com

overcast with a strong chance of pain

before your love grew cold
before the chill of apathy
(the whimpering dying flame)
there were those days
of sizzle like moth wings

the trickster took his time
took hold of you
or was it I, eye couldn’t
wouldn’t see the color gray?
the color of a stone cold heart

Today, Mary Kling challenges us to grab a line from a poem by Naomi Shihab Nye: Burning the Old Year. This brilliant work offers many opportunities for inspiration. The dVerse doors open wide at 3:00 PM on Tuesday. The line in italics is from Nye’s poem.

My quadrille for Monday’s prompt is here. That fun prompt is open all week.

29 thoughts on “overcast with a strong chance of pain

  1. Kate Mia says:

    You kNow.. Victoria.. the more i thiNk/FEEL
    about iT.. the more it disgusts me..
    that when i lost my emotions
    all anyone could offer
    was a pill..
    and no
    way
    out of hell..
    or even wHere
    human emotions
    exist at all.. perhaps
    a symptom of some
    in the health field
    who have
    wittingly
    or
    unwittingly
    turned there’s
    off too.. and perhaps
    that is why it is best to
    see smiling clergy or
    friends than any
    doctor
    or other
    professional
    of black clothed
    heARt.. after all..
    science says it’S
    epidemic.. with even
    college age adults losing
    30 percentage points of
    their empathy IQ over the
    last several decades.. poverty
    of feeling and sharing feelings
    is truly
    at Zombie
    Apocalypse
    Grey Alert..:)

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  2. You had me with the title. There was definitely pain in this one. Peace, Linda

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  3. lynn__ says:

    Love how you waxed eloquently on your chosen line…paired with perfect image!

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  4. Candy says:

    the heat of passion, the coldness as it dies…… you’ve taken us on a rollercoaster ride

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  5. Stone cold hearts are surely devoid of vibrancy. A solid piece here, Victoria!

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  6. I was about to comment on the I/eye…this captured me the way that it did for, De. 🙂

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  7. And a wonderful title!

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  8. Very nice, Victoria!

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  9. Misky says:

    The colour of a stone cold heart — wonderful.

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  10. Bryan Ens says:

    you used your chosen line brilliantly – a line that most would interpret in a negative way, you were able to put a positive spin on…even if to emphasize the sadness of the rest of the poem.

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  11. We’re all captivated by your wonderful title, but the message of the poem is even stronger.

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  12. MarinaSofia says:

    Excellent title and the play on I/eye.

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  13. Sherry Marr says:

    This is very powerful, the trickster that stole the loved one away. It is good there are days that sizzles like moth wings to remember, but both our poems express that is small comfort.

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  14. ghostmmnc says:

    Makes me wonder what happened. Their relationship burned fast and hot at first, not taking the time to get to know each other. Then, it was over, as true personalities came to the forefront. Great poem! 🙂

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  15. Gabriella says:

    Do we miss the signs that signal that stone- cold heart or do we choose to miss them?

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  16. Bodhirose says:

    This is a great title! The sizzle can turn to fizzle in very subtle ways. Before you know it, you wonder what the heck happened. Well put, Victoria.

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  17. I really like how your line about the moth in the flame itself sheds a subdued light on the love you are describing. Complicates the relationship even more.

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  18. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    I like the idea of a stone cold heart being the color of gray.
    Beautifully penned 🙂

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  19. Ayala says:

    Beautiful !

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  20. whimsygizmo says:

    I like the play (in both sound, and meaning) of the I, eye combination.

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  21. From flames to stone cold… you really nailed the line and made it yours.

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  22. Glenn Buttkus says:

    Your chosen line was one I was going to use, but forged ahead with another. You’ve packed so very much into two brief stanzas, proving that in poetry, size is irrelevant. Your transitions are bold–love lost can only be healed by fresh love found.

    Like

  23. Love how you used the line… and the second stanza, with the I, eye … what exquisite closing with the grey and stone-cold heart.

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  24. Grace says:

    I love the title and the twist of perspective here:

    or was it I, eye couldn’t
    wouldn’t see the color gray?
    the color of a stone cold heart

    Like

  25. Mary says:

    I like the way your poem transitioned….from the time that love had ‘sizzled like moth wings’ to the time it became ‘the color of a stone cold heart.’

    Like

  26. thotpurge says:

    A great take on the prompt.. days that sizzled like moth wings..lovely!

    Like

  27. kim881 says:

    Excellent shift from sounds to sight 🙂

    Like

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