This Tunnel Has No Light at Its Ending
Black notes hang
in a barren equinox sky,
fade into a cry of
wonder that echoes
as though in a dark tunnel.
You balance the cup
of deep water before
a moment of stolen hope emerges
then abandon yourself
to pure gravity
before ripping apart the
warm core of your being.
Can you taste
the texture of wind,
that carries cries of forgiveness.
The memory of a crowing
cock haunts you
constantly, doesn’t it?
Life ebbs slowly when you
break your promises.
Doesn’t it?
Today, I am hosting for dVerse Meeting the Bar, Critique and Craft. We are playing with symbolism as used in poetry and literature. Can you identify the emotion I am attempting to express in this poem–a very old one that I rewrote?
Photo: racrapopulous” Free Usage
Victoria C. Slotto, Author 
Lovely, Victoria. I would say the poem is about despair.
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You got it, Robbie
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Oh my – how we keep hearing the cock crow! And the denial – makes me go weeping into the tunnel.
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A powerful one Victoria. The last stanza is my favorite.
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I don’t know how, but I lost your comment on “The Past,” and couldn’t find how to reply to it. I think I wanted to say that my idea of a symbol or metaphor was “cocoon of bliss”, or something. I then started to think how to write the haiku and that came to me separately,, as kind of a related afterthought. So I sorta can’t say it was mainly about being disillusioned, or whatever your words were. I wonder how I lost your comment! Thanks for it, anyhow. Do you know ahead of time what the haiku in a haibun will say? Thanks for the great topic.
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Sometimes I write the haiku before the prose once I’ve chosen a topic. At others, I write prose and then see what comes for the haiku. I guess I just don’t have a set procedure.
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I may not be religious anymore, but I was raised Roman Catholic. I recall my Sunday school studies.
This is a tale of betrayal, as Jesus himself was disowned the night of his arrest:
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
This poem gave me chills, Victoria. Extremely well-crafted and haunting.
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Thanks, Barry. The 2nd and 3rd stanzas are hints at Judas’ suicide.
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So poignant and beautiful. The last stanza wraps it all for me – regret flooded me like the weight of broken promises after I read it. 👍
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So beautiful and the heartbreak of broken promises, profound thoughts.
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magnificent theme to this poem – epic in fact and the terrible weight of guilt and betrayal. One of my favourites of your poems Victoria
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I recognize the depression and despair..unfortunately many feel the bleakness of the tunnel has no ending. That is when we must grab onto forgiveness of ourselves. This is a dark poem, yet gorgeous between the lines, Victoria.
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An amazing write. The title says it all….no light – only darkness within the tunnel. There is such despair here — such darkness. The questions haunt…almost jibe at the person who has broken the trust/promise. The lines before that
“Can you taste
the texture of wind,
that carries cries of forgiveness.”
make me feel there may be a light there…forgiveness on the horizon. But, then come the questions…the haunting still, the ebbing of life in the memories of the wrong done.
Layers in this poem….
wonderfully done.
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A tunnel is a dark place to be, especially if there is no light at the end, and is symbolic of depression and despair. You’ve expanded on this beautifully, Victoria, with ‘Black notes hang / in a barren equinox sky’ and ‘abandon yourself / to pure gravity’. My favourite lines:
‘Can you taste
the texture of wind,
that carries cries of forgiveness’
the bitter taste of guilt..
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I have to agree with so many comments your poem paints a beautiful picture.
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“cock haunts you
constantly, doesn’t it?”
I’m pretty sure this is directed at someone who has a sex addiction.
The first two lines of the poem are insanely good.
Gorgeous:
“abandon yourself
to pure gravity”
“Can you taste
the texture of wind”
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Wonderful interpretation, Shawna. Not where I was going with it but I can see what you are saying.
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[…] for dVerse I Once Used an Earthquake–dVerse MTB: Symbolism, hosted by Victoria Slotto We were encouraged to write a symbolic poem. This one still feels a bit “on the nose”, but meh, […]
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Cock crowing…denial. Breaking promises…guilt. Intense imagery. I didnt find it easy to write one, but I attempted.
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Beautiful example of helplessness, guilt and despair ~ Opening lines up to the end, are filled with dark symbols from equinox sky to crowing cock ~
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Let me guess, then, as you request: someone is going through a hopeful medical treatment that is not working. So it is an unfulfilled hope but with that rude discovery is a new deep sense of self, after it is ripped apart.
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I can see where you are coming from. I love it when people read things out of their own experience. I was writing of despair, using Judas as the symbol.
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Went back and read it myself from your perspective. Wow.
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Cool. Yes, if your write a poem vague enough, it acts like a Rorschach Ink blot — allowing various reads. I’ve heard some button poetry presentations talk about Despair, and they leave you know choice but to feel the pain with them. Have you heard of them: https://buttonpoetry.com/
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I usually don’t write abstract poems but this is one. The you in the poem is Judas Iscariot, and some of you noted the references to Peter. The first stanza have hints of Judas hanging on a tree. Kinda obscure though. I think a major factor in despair is when we expect perfection of ourselves and unable to accept forgiveness. Hope Judas was able to do that.
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I love the theological implications embedded in your poem!
Dwight
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Despair.i think, with the cock crow, of Peter and how he said he would never deny Christ ans yet. And yet. And yet. And then the cock crowed and i imagine his sudden realization of what he had done
A tunnel with no light would certainly feel like a hole you were falling into.
I got an idea. I just gotta write it.
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Beautiful, Victoria – I love the texture of wind carryng cries of forgiveness. Promises are meant to be kept.
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I see the depression and despair brought about by the broken promises of one who offered himself as the saviour of those lost in the backwoods of politics, those without a voice.
They believed him, gave him a voice, and he has utterly betrayed them. (I do not mean those who exist in the far-right, rather those who were really lost, the unheard…)
Anna :o]
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I like this. The imagery is like being carried into deep water
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Ominous poem of hopelessness–or stolen hope that won’t last. Nice title.
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Well done! I love the cock crowing. Reminds me of Peter and the cock crowing after he had betrayed Jesus three times. There has been a massive betrayal of the American people. Write on Victoria!
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I think life would ebb slowly if you broke your promises. You would travel through a dark tunnel, without a light to guide you. I have traveled through dark tunnels, and I find I am holding my breath until we break free, and into the light again.
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I especially love the phrase of giving up to gravity… works so well with the missing light at the end of the tunnel… dark poem, really a dark one.
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