Photo: publicphoto.org
On a Night Like This
55 Words
On a night when the full
moon slices through cloud
cover, gilds maple leaves—
On a night when the breath
of wind whispers empty
promises, feigns delight, deceives—
On that night we stand in dark-
ness, waiting to dispel the chill
that came between us.
On a night like that, Sun
dawdles, lingers to the East.
Linked to dVerse Open Link Night–a delayed response to Sam’s prompt last Thursday for a 55 word poem. The extreme cold is nonfiction (-4 degrees F early morning) but the scenario is fiction. The pub opens in about 45 minutes. (12:00 PM EST) Come on in and warm up…or if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, chill out! Poetry and community abounds.
Victoria C. Slotto, Author 
Ah – I love nights like this. Lovely Victoria.
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Oh My….
All the accolades apply here Young Lady
Powerfully Beautiful 55
How wonderful that you’ve shared this with the Friday Funfest
Thank you for visiting and please have a Kick Ass Week-End
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When the coldness felt is more than the weather it is bracing. I hope the sun is enough to warm the coldness in them as well as around them. Excellent write
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deliciously done…If ever a way to make something not so pretty, beautiful.
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oh how beautiful!
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as we all know – relationships can dwindle ~ arguments left unresolved ~ anger & disappointments ~ the chill in the air ~ you have describe it well ~ smiles.
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Nice. Reminds me of the line in Diamonds and Rust:
“Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there.”
All those winter rendezvous when a relationship hangs on a meeting in the cold. I imagine every person has a story and can relate. Made this very universal, Victoria as well as quite lovely.
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Relationships can become like that when people take each other for granted. Beautiful poem.
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I believe every relationship requires seasons of quiet shoals of snow and fireside that keep us coming back ~ Your imagery conveyed life ~ Blessings Friend ~ Faithfully Debbie
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Hoping for the change can be a long wait, both for the change in the cold weather and their coldness of relationships. Nicely Victoria!
Hank
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You sure painted a wintry scape with your pen, there, Victoria. Wonderful imagery and metaphor ~peace, Jason
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Beautiful!
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nothing prettier than a winter sunset… beautiful verse
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Excellent write Victoria.
Oh how the sun does dawdle on the seeming eternity of nights like this.
My hubs has always been a great believer in ‘never let the sun set on your anger’ and for the most part we have stuck to this.
Anna :o]
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“On a night when the full
moon slices through cloud
cover, guilds maple leaves—”
You paint such dark and intriguing imagery with the first few lines that quickly draws one into this piece. Much captured in few words. Love the feel of this, Victoria!
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A perfect confluence human nature and nature, that winter night between two people and night and day. You worked the charm well winding it up thrice.
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Hi Victoria, I especially like the moon description here, and the rhythmic flow. K.
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You’ve warmed me with your words. It is cold here too, but I suspect that we ain’t seen nuffin yet.
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beautiful, I had to read it twice..
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breath of wind whispers empty.. Love- Beautiful, chill of the night:)
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Dispel the chill? You are together. Does that help?
I like ” . . . sun dawdles in the east . . ” so tis barely dawn? There is time a plenty.
Cheers!
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Very pretty! 🙂
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Poetry of eternity – beautiful.
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Well might the sun wait as far away as possible!
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Beautiful writing Victoria!
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Wonderful full scenario, inclusive in 55 words; profound contrasts, deep implications. I enjoy writing 55’s, reminds me of Hemingway’s less-is-more philosophy–but I tend to be pedantic & long-winded, so I feel like I’m writing with one hand tied behind me; but you, on the other hand seem naturally comfortable in the tiny gaggle of words; cool.
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Beautifully pitched piece of writing Victoria – enjoyed it very much… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
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Oh, the wording in this is beautiful, Victoria. Goes to show a person that one can craft magic in 55 words!
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I love how the wind feigns delight; hope they find a way to overcome the chill.
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Beautiful crafted.
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Powerful verse. The chill in the environ and the chill of the relationship… very well crafted with some vivid imagery.
-HA
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Poor souls, waiting for the sun… Someone should tell them it never really goes away, even when they can no longer feel the heat
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I could feel the chill form here, both in the weather and in their relationship. Really enjoyed this, Victoria
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I am SO glad this is fiction! I’m in Wisconsin… nuff said there! The pairing of the winter’s chill to the chill of a cooled relationship, BRILL. Amy
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oy….and if meant to be hopefully they come back together…and they dont wait on the sun or some outside force to bring that warmth…hopefully…
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was wondering the other day when i saw this was a 55…smiles
i hope you have a wonderful weekend v
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Victoria, you did a wonderful poem within the context of the 55. Beautiful, poingant and sensual. >KB
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What strong poem on chill.. the cold weather.. the relationships – loved the alliterations here…
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This is truly Beautiful 🙂
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ugh… relationships can become cold like that… good to know then how to re-kindle the fire…
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